Final Episode EVER spoiler thread!

*sigh*

Well, that was that then. Thanks for… I don’t know… like maybe 4 - 4,5 great seasons, I guess, if we sum everything up. The rest was hardly more than decent.

Yeah, I said it.

After seven years and the fact that I’ve written a combined total of over 300k words of fanfiction for this show, these last few episodes – including the last two EVER – can barely get more than a ‘meh’ from me.

I’m not even mad anymore, I’m just disappointed.



I’m disappointed that for some reason we will probably never fully understand, one of the show’s original – and most beloved! – characters was only in this final season for one full episode and a couple of minutes. Screentime that was ultimately used to first give us some cryptic hints and then such a rushed and cramped-in-there explanation, that the whole solution in the finale might as well qualify as a deus ex machina. Oh, and the reason why everything from Fitzsimmons’ POV was so overly dramatic and super urgent was because they have a kid now?!? Wow, way to make everything about yourselves, guys! I mean, screw all those billions of people in that other timeline you just created, right??


Also, how telling is it that we had this hilarious way of not telling the audience the big plan back in S1:
Coulson: "We'll only get one shot at this, so let's go over the plan one more time to make sure we're clear on exactly what we're doing, okay? Trip and I will crest the ridge, use a noisemaker to grab a three-wheel, maybe something with more fireworks, and open a window for you two. You crawl in, grab the dealer, force his hand. He'll get us our ace in the hole, and then bob's your uncle."
Yet now, six years later we're reduced to Fitz basically saying: "Gather around while I explain all the important details to you you really should have known all season!", just before an oh-so-(in)convenient scene change? 



I’m also disappointed that Fitz’s replacement on the show, even after three years and several(!) heroic acts of (potential) self-sacrifice to save the team, still gets treated like a joke.

Skye: “She’s not gonna stop me from getting back Simmons.”
Mack: “And Deke.”
Skye: “Sure.”

Ha ha ha. So funny. Not.

Oh, and while Deke interrupting Sousa when he offered to stay behind and help the team to travel back to the future was basically my highlight of the episode, the silence of the others afterwards was pretty hard to miss. Not even a second of screentime was spent here on any form of goodbye except that one moment with Mack over the comms. Great job, everyone.

You know, this moment really made me think back to the halfway point of S5 when Deke almost died to send the team to the past, yet was also transported through time instead. Pretty much the main reason why I was rather optimistic about him still being alive (despite other nay-sayers here ) was the fact that I think just earlier in that same episode, he had that epic confrontation with Skye where he gave her a real talking-to. That moment (and some similar ones in previous episodes) made him one of the only people who ever really stood up to Skye – an effective foil without him being a villain or even necessarily a future love interest. In that light, I couldn’t understand why the writers would go to such lengths to set the character up that way if they were just going to kill him off moments later.

Luckily, my hunch was right and Deke survived.

Unluckily, almost none of his badass traits did.

So here we are now, three years later, and instead of Deke ever having become a full part of the team, someone who the others care about and are sad to see go, he’s basically nothing more than that ‘clown’ they used to know. You know what writers? Go f- yourselves!



And honestly, the list of disappointments just goes on and on:

Did anyone even bother to define Kora’s powers? She can blow stuff up, she can take out firewalls and now she can even transfer empathy? Just... what?

Still a terrible character, btw. She turned on all the people she grew up with in a heartbeat just because Nate said so. She killed Li and happily stood by as countless others were killed as well. But, hey, she just thought the others were the bad guys, so that makes it okay, right?? Plus, now Skye believes in her, so everything’s just peachy!


Skye gets send on a suicide mission without anyone batting an eye or without even a second spend on possibly finding a better solution? Like, what’s with those bombs Garrett used? Any more of those lying around? Because that sure as hell would have been a better option than to just use her powers to blow up the ship and hope that for some reason that massive explosion would just leave her floating in space entirely unharmed, ready to be revived by Kora’s BS powers. Because, yeah, of course that is also something they can do! (Man, General Organa would be proud!)


Speaking of Star Wars references: Anyone else getting massive Alderaan vibes when May could for some reason feel the deaths of all those SHIELD agents? Silly scene was silly.


And speaking of SHIELD agents: So the gang shows up at the SHIELD bar and within seconds, all those trained agents already there turn into freaking extras who just stand aside and watch those guys they’ve never even heard of do their thing?! Just... whyyyyyy??

Also, if we assume that characters are roughly the same age as their actors, unless specifically stated otherwise, that would mean that future agent Victoria Hand would be about eleven in 1983. Sooo... that means there is either a female agent running around in the 80s with Victoria’s very specific look, that she actually might have copied later on, or the writers simply did not bother to actually think this one through. Considering the show’s track record, I’m very much inclined to go with the latter explanation. In that case, btw, nice touch with having her shoot an unarmed and shackled John Garrett in the head. After all, that is what she wanted to do decades later, soo... yay, life goals, I guess!



Another part I actually liked in the finale was Sousa. I mean, he’s Sousa, he’s always great! And he and Skye do make a great couple!

Sousa: “If this really is the end, shouldn’t we take out as many of them as possible?”
Mack: “Even more than fifty?”
Sousa: “Back at Area 51, the Chronicoms tried to turn Helius into a nuclear bomb using just one of their robots.” *takes out a knife and proceeds to stab one of the unconscious Chronicoms in the chest* “What kind of damage could we do with these six?”

Hot damn, Sousa! To quote the Invisible Woman:





Too bad, really, that once again most of Sousa’s scenes were with him and Mack. It did, however, once again shine a glaring light on one of AoS’s most ridiculous flaws: The fact that Mack should NOT – under any circumstances – be the director of SHIELD! For one, his plan was to blow out the hangar doors before Skye, Deke and Simmons were back? Yeah, good luck having them get on board, considering there is now a complete vacuum in the hangar. Oh, and his entire approach to the rescue mission is “one problem at a time”?? Because, yeah, why ever would we want the head of a spy organisation to be able to plan ahead, right?? Psh, entirely overrated, if you ask me!



Simmons’ whole memory lapse thing was at least slightly entertaining. And, yes, I do want her to get a costume like Skye’s! I’m sure Fitz would appreciate that as well.



Nice use of the “blast stick” btw. Haven’t seen that thing since season 1. Or, you know, the Serenity movie.



As I said, for the most part I’m really just disappointed about the finale, not angry. There is one thing, however, that really really REALLY pisses me off! And that is the fact that they brought Davis back as a robot! (Was it too much to ask to leave his name out of the opening credits btw? That really spoiled the surprise for me.) I mean, am I really the only one who finds this whole “replacing people with robot copies and everyone is cool with that” thing absolutely insulting to the original characters? This is the same BS they pulled on Westworld and I HATED that storyline there already!

They didn’t bring Coulson back, and they didn’t bring Davis back, either. They made a copy. They programmed a robot to think it was that person, and considering that Davis was never in the framework to begin with, it makes you wonder how accurate this one can even be. Still, though, considering that they have access to time travel now, I would have assumed that Piper’s “wish” would have included Simmons somehow plucking Davis from the past before Izel killed him. (Or, you know, afterwards, considering the all-purpose healing machine.) That was clearly not the case, though, and instead of giving the actual human being another chance at life, they just programmed a very advanced Excel sheet to think and act like him. Wow, just... wow.

Man, I’m glad this show is done...



And last but not least, the big ominous “this will be the team’s last mission together” is basically just “everyone except Deke – who we apparently don’t care about anyway – is fine, just too busy to actually all take an evening off at the same time so we can go out to dinner together”. Just... really??

*sigh*



Verdict: 6/10. This wasn’t even a particularly good normal episode, let alone a noteworthy season or series finale.

Almost makes me wish we would have gone out with Graviton instead...