Post by caseyrook AKA Mechelle on Jun 11, 2019 1:55:14 GMT
6x04 “Cold Yellow”
Written By: Nora Zuckerman and Lilla Zuckerman
Directed By: Mark Kolpack
NOTE: Mark Kolpack directed parts of this episode to be such a perfect and well-crafted horror show that certain fans cannot handle watching the scenes with Benson, Elena, and Keller, once Benson starts the autopsy, and have eyes that are actually open long enough to pick up on details. This means they had to ask for help to do their writing for a certain podcast, which means that another certain fan, oh8four, should be credited as a co-writer said Rundown. 😊
Green = Mechelle’s interjections
Blue = oh8four’s interjections
#HaHaTheShowSaysYouMustReadHashtags #truth
#CoulsonsDNALives #LGB!
Act 1
In a Framework mock-up of Quovas’s ship, DEKE! and Agent Kahn are on the run from digi-Remorath Marauders. Kahn runs out of ammo and Deke supplies him with a smaller Shotgun Axe. Deke then does action movie stunt while wielding two guns. “This just got personal.” Deke lands in a superhero pose all heroically with a dead serious look on his face like this isn’t the FW and is real life.
…“I’m getting too old for this,” he says after a digi-Kree comes up from behind him. He does a move, drops his two pistols and picks up Shotgun Axe and decapitates the digi-Kree, thanking him because he had a blast. Deke then walks away while rock music (but not the kind that accompanies Team Sarge) starts playing and we meet…. Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy. She slaps him asking what took so long and he answers traffic, it was a bitch.
Also, Deke apparently doesn’t know how to program bras into the FW.
Sequoia’s voice (thankfully) interrupts and the FW shuts down, leaving the environment and Daisy frozen but still there, in a way that HAS to be an allusion to Star Trek’s holodeck because he then sighs and says, “End Framework” and it all fades away ala the Enterprise D.
He opens his eyes and we see him laying down on a lemon shaped bean bag chair. He asks this random person, who I do not have in a picture up on my wall, what she is doing here, and she answers “Boba”. (She’s here for a bounty hunter that sucks at his job?)
Deke doesn’t register what she said, and she clarifies with a tone, “We’re supposed to get boba.” Deke gets up and gets it now. “Oh. Boba tea. Yeah, no. I-I got to ask Trevor to check my schedule.”
“Trevor” appears and puts his hands on Deke’s shoulders congratulating him about the sweet raid. They do a special handshake sequence as “Trevor” says that the rendering on that blue guy is really popping. Trevor tells Sequoia that her ‘boy’ is a visionary. Deke replies that he’s only saying that because she’s here and then kisses her on the cheek.
They do a Sorkinian walk-and-talk. Deke asks if he has time for a boba break. Trevor doesn’t know, they got VC coming in for round-two financing. Then they talk about company stuff, with Deke saying their growth is “pure hockey stick” as we get an understanding of how insanely well this tech business is doing. (Think it has a secret bar in a wall like Pixar?) More exposition speech. Deke is using the money they’re making now to fund his new ‘replicate SHIELD’s stuff’ initiatives. They stop to face Sequoia and just happen to have the OVERKILL DEVICE! and, appropriately, THE 084! on a table behind them.
Deke gets upset because Trevor joins him in saying “in real reality” when Deke says he wants to change the world in real reality.
Sequoia likes what she hears and wants to record Deke’s speech. He immediately does a perfect video explanation…until he gets to the one simple staple, organic, biodynamic, sustainable, easily attainable mushroom pellets. Pretty sure Deke knew it wouldn’t go down well because of the look on his face. Sequoia is like, “change the world much?’ and “Trevor” jumps in Deke’s defense. She waves Trevor away and they start walking with her still recording. Deke says stuff like, “like rideshare disrupted drunk driving”.
Cue Title Card
At the Lighthouse, Mack asks, Agent Diaz, a new POC, if she has anything for him. Yes, they are running CCTV, local law enforcement and satellite imagery but so far they have no eyes on their targets since the fireworks. Mack tells Diaz that May is running point on this so make sure she knows. Diaz, who has been following Mack responds by stopping to face Mack and say, “Believe me. She’s on it.”
Mack walks into his office where he finds Keller. This scene is very uncomfortable. Keller wants to know about certain protocols and disclose a relationship but Mack cuts him off-if he knew about relationships, he would have to separate teams because it would create a conflict of interest. Mack says that he plans on enforcing that policy and then asks if Keller believes himself to be compromised, theoretically.
Elena then comes in, reads the room, and asks if it’s a bad time. Mack says, “not at all” and Elena tells him that Benson did an analysis of the area where Fake Coulson (I HATE THATE NAME-USE A CODENAME SHIELD) put on the fireworks show. Mack reads the report. Benson didn’t find; atmospheric toxicity, no disruption of air traffic. He did find “trace amounts of statically charged particles”.
Elena adds, “Suspended in orbit. Eyewitnesses described a pattern in the sky, a grid. So I was thinking, maybe they were making a map.” Keller thinks that robbing a jewelry store and firing a cannon are a lot of trouble if they could just check GPS. Elena think they are looking for something, but who knows what it is.
Cut to Jaco and Pax. They use a tablet to find their “mark” a guy standing in line for a bus. The man sees them and bolts as Jaco and Pax charge their weapons. He runs into an alley where Snowflake blocks their path and Sarge comes out of the shadows.
Sarge shanks the guy in the stomach with a knife and he becomes pointy all over his body. The body slides to the ground and Snowflake says, “Definitely not a Butterfly.” Sarge then asks, “So who’s next?” and we cut to…
Deke. Of course, it’s Deke. Deke is telling Sequoia that he’s thinking about calling it, “The Post Food Movement” and “Trevor” loves it. Deke wants her help coming up with hashtags (that can be hard sometimes!), she says “obviously.”
Kaya, another POC!, comes over with a bowl of ….something. It’s a taste test for Mr. Shaw. He gives it a shot and he doesn’t seem to like it but says it’s closer and that he can still taste that taste that he can’t seem to ever…forget. “Just keep trying.”
Lindsay comes over tell Deke that there’s a very weird homeless hobo looking dude that is waiting for him and said that he had an appointment and couldn’t wait. “Trevor” freaks out because the meeting isn’t for another two hours and he hadn’t updated the deck. Deke blames himself for this for making business connections at Burning Man. Trevor will load the presentation into the holo-table and Kaya will hold off the pellets. Lindsay is sent off for…what the Fitz is a charcoal water?
Deke starts to walk away but Sequoia says she still needs boba. Deke asks if there’s anyway she can get the boba and bring it back so he can close this deal. She simply says, “Okay.”
In the conference room, Deke finds a sneering, scowling Sarge who then says, “I’ve been looking all over for you” and produces his blue bladed knife.
Act 2
Deke: Coulson! Buddy!
Sarge moves the knife so it’s hidden alongside his forearm.
Sarge: *screwing on a smile* That’s me.
D: Listen—before you get all bent out of shape and rules-y, this stuff *gestures to the table with like EVERYTHING on it* is just for the game. You know, o-o-our actual mission lies in the Corporates Social Responsibility movement. Did you know that ½ of 1 percent of all of our profit goes straight to the DSFBFF-the Deke Shaw For a Better Future Foundation?
S: Can’t argue with that.
D: See? I knew you’d get it.
Sarge doesn’t say anything and they just look at each other.
D: So….Why didn’t you just call ahead like a normal person?
S: Who wants to be normal? *steps closer to Deke*
D: Right. Totally. #Truth.
Sarge is now right in front of Deke. Also, there’s a little LOLA in a display case behind Sarge.
S: That’s what I always say.
D: *confused* You do? W-What am I—I mean how—how amazing is it that you’re even standing here right now? I mean. You—you look good. A little rocking a dark vibe, but good.
Sarge has head cocked and looks intrigued.
D: So, I got to know—how did they do it? How did they save your life?
S: I don’t even know. What did they tell you?
D: Uh, I, uh, I’ve had very little contact since… *walks to the end of the table* {sighs} I…don’t really…I mean, but— but you should….
Sarge stares blankly.
D: Oh, for reals?
Sarge cocks his head.
D; Dang. They gave you the SHIELD memory wipe, huh? Yeah, well that makes sense I guess.
S: *walks towards Deke again* Yeah, I guess. So, do me a solid. Fill me in on what you do know.
Back at the Lighthouse, Sarge’s shanking victim is being rolled down a corridor on a stretcher. May is telling Mack that Reno PD’s first call was to SHIELD. Mack says that it takes more than a body to get May’s attention and May says that the suspects also fit the description. Does she think it might be him? May knows it’s him and hands Mack a tablet to clarify; CCTV confirmed it.
Mack: It’s Coulson.
May: He’s not Coulson.
Mack: We got to call him something.
May: Not that. (Thank you, May!)
Elena joins Keller who’s waiting at an elevator door and facing it.
Keller: Heard a body came in. We know the cause of death?
Elena: No, but if they called us, it means it’s not old age.
The door opens and they go in. Elena crosses her arms.
E: So, you and Mack, in his office.
K: Yeah.
E: You told him. I wish you would have talked to me about it.
K: *not looking at her* If it makes you feel better, he didn’t exactly let me finish.
E: He doesn’t want to know so he doesn’t have to put us on different missions.
K: *finally faces her* I’m sure that’s part of it, but…it’s just, I also got the sense that he isn’t over you.
E: Why would you tell me that?
K: You should know how he feels before—or if we… You should know. But to be clear, I’m in. I will fight for you if I have to. Not fight fight—Mack terrifies me. But more emotionally fight.
E: *chuckles* Always acting so noble.
The door opens
K: Yeah, I think you like that act.
Elena and Keller join Benson, May, and Mack in the lab. The cadaver is covered and Benson says that this is another first for him. He takes off a sheet and they see how crystals are protruding from the body and head, and how it is extra shiny.
Elena: What happened to him
May: *handing over tablet* They did.
Elena: He didn’t seem to care if he was seen.
Benson: He only cared about turning this guy into some kind of science experiment.
Mack: Yeah, we still don’t have an ID, but we should have one soon.
Keller: Report says this guy brought a ticket to Sioux City. That’s a convergence spot for three separate Ley Lines, FYI.
Mack: At this point, I’m not ruling out anything. Benson. Keller. Rodriguez, we need to find out what happened to this man. May, prep a Quinjet.
May: Already done.
Mack: You and I will head that way to see if we can this guy who’s not Coulson.
Back to the man in question, he says he’s sorry. He guesses he’s drawing a blank.
Deke: Man. You—you don’t remember all the heroic stuff I did? That’s…. I guess Fitz didn’t go easy on you.
S: Guess not.
D: How are they anyway? I feel bad I didn’t get a proper goodbye with the grandparents.
S: Slowing down but still hanging in there.
D: What about Agent May. I mean, she wouldn’t leave your side. Is she—is she nearby somewhere?
S: Of course.
D: But what I’m – what I’m, like dying to know is, is how is Agent…Doug.
S: Well, you know, Doug’s Doug.
D: Yeah, that is #Truth. Um, oh. I just forgot something. I’ll be back in one minute.
Deke goes to RUN AWAY but Sarge grabs his arm, spins him around to face him, and pulls his knife.
S: You’re a real talker, but you’re not from here and you shouldn’t be here, so I got to take you and make you sing.
Deke does a maneuver and ends up pinning down Sarge’s left hand long enough to stab it with one of those glass reward thingeys. Sarge is in pain and Deke is surprised, as is the fanbase because a burning question is answered. “A real hand. Not Coulson.”
The glass thing either breaks off or is pulled out of Sarge’s hand by Deke, we don’t know because we don’t see it, and Deke runs away while Sarge tells Deke, “You know you’re already dead, right?”
Deke runs out of the room and straight into Jaco. He gets off the floor saying, “That is a large, large man.” Jaco is looking at a tablet and knows he has his target. A security guard, Ray, is there and pulls a taser on Jaco. Pax shoots Ray with an energy or plasma weapon and Deke tries to catch him as he falls.
That’s when EVERYONE starts running away.
Deke runs into Snowflake who is simply walking towards him. He knocks boxes onto the floor to slow her down.
Cat to Sarge leaving the conference room and calmly wrapping his hand. He meets Jaco and Pax. Jaco says the tracker says Deke is not from this world, but his signature is different from the others. Sarge calls that strange and Jaco responds, “If you consider the infinite complexity of nature, maybe “strange” is the norm. (Dude, this is Agents of SHIELD. A normal anything is weird.)
Pax says, “Strange or not, he’s still a target” and hands Sarge a pistol. Sarge calls Deke a talker, not just a target. They know what that means. Pax replies, “Kill him slow, make him bleed.”
(oh8four here chiming in with these scenes because they’re super icky)
Back at the Lighthouse, Benson saws into the crystal cadaver and calls it the strangest autopsy he’s done since…. Tinker. Keller ID’s the guy, as Harold Simcoe, who randomly left his life behind in Sacramento (finally my hometown gets a shout out from Marvel). Benson gets Keller’s help opening up the body and remarks that this must be an average day for them, just as they all look inside to see the chest cavity hollowed out and a gross bat-looking alien rooting itself into it.
Note: I asked Mark Kolpack for the name of said Bat-creatures and Marvel snipers were listening, so I did not get an answer. We will find out later, he said.
Act 3
And I’m back: Deke is hiding in dark office space, playing a high stakes game of hide and go seek. Sarge is monologuing and says that he has been hunting Deke’s kind his whole life. “And let me tell you – there’s no use hiding in this world or the next. We’ll always find you. *getting frustrated he can’t find him* So, why don’t you come on out, make things easier on your old friend, Coulson?
He hears Deke: “You are not Phil Coulson. And I don’t know how you stole his face, but it is not chill, man. It’s not chill.”
Sarge locates the sound and finds a speaker as Deke continues, “And if you’re upset that I borrowed a few ideas from SHIELD, it’s not like they didn’t steal half of the stuff from aliens.” We cut to see Deke speaking into his watch. “Productivity is connectivity.” We Sarge looking at this speaker with a look on his face.
Meanwhile, Deke is grabbed by “Trevor” who gives him directions to get out of the building safely because he called for extract. Deke asks who he is. “Trevor Kahn. Agent of SHIELD” Agent Trevor then gently tosses a die-like grenade and it lands by Sarge and explodes.
Take it away, oh8four….
Meanwhile, Benson goes over the blood panel of the corpse; it’s flooded with a combustible neurotoxin from the creature inside. He likens it to Cordyceps fungus in Amazonian ants which turns hosts into self-destructive zombies (that’s a real thing, I guess) . YoYo hypothesizes that Fake Coulson stuck the parasite into him, which I wasn’t sure was the case if he abandoned his family before Sarge tracked him down. Benson also shows them Chekov's blue knife which shouldn’t come up later whatsoever. The bat starts to squirm and flies out of the body (because of course it did) and forces itself into an air vent.
Back to me.
Deke and Kahn (KAHHHHHN!!! Sorry, that joke had to be made) exit the back of the building. Deke is going on about Kahn being a SHIELD agent this whole time. Did he really think SHIELD would let him get away with ripping off all of SHIELD’s tech. Deke mentions a Phish concert and an escape room and demands to know if Trevor was letting him win in “Remorath Rumble.” Trvor says, “Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
They then see and head a QJ and Deke is like, “You called Mack?! I thought we were best friends!
In that QJ we see the agents gearing up. May looks at the computer screen and then looks at Deke but says nothing when he appears behind her. Mack tells Agent Kahn that they rerouted as soon as they got the call. Kahn tells him that he’s glad they were close by and addresses May who asks if he’s having trouble with his babysitting assignment because they have bigger problems.
“This isn’t just a Code Yellow.” (Deke mouths the words, as Kahn continues) “I didn’t want to put this over the radio, but…one of the guys inside the building is the spitting image of Phil Coulson.”
Mack and May are shocked.
Mack: Wait, he’s inside the building right now?
Kahn: As far as I know.
Mack: *to the agents* All right, people, this no longer an extraction. It’s an assault. Let’s go!
May: I’m on point with Khan, Gibbs, Wilson.
The agents all suit up and stand up.
Deke: Hold on. First off, a hello would be nice. And second, am I a Code Yellow and should I be insulted? Because it feels that way. *Mack takes an agent aside and whispers something* And-and most of all, w-why is Coulson trying to kill me? What—what—what the hell is happening?
May: What’s happening is we got lucky.
Mack: All right, Deke. You’re safe now. Stay here.
Deke: Well, who’s gonna protect me? Is Daisy coming or Fitz or Simmons or –
Mack: *opening the QJ’s cargo ramp* Okay’s let’s roll!
Deke: Yeah, Okay.
May: *To Deke* Congratulations. You didn’t get yourself killed.
They exit the QJ leaving Deke.
Back to oh8four’s contribution:
Yoyo and Keller catch Agent Diaz up on the alien-zombie-bird (side note: Where is the Agent Diaz show?) and Yoyo is ready to catch it this time. They hear it scrambling around in the vents and Keller gives Yoyo a boost up inside to get a peek at it. While she’s up there, Keller instantly regrets standing there with his mouth wide open because the bat flies into it. Yoyo freezes and watches it burrow itself all the way into Keller. It’s this moment where I’d like to point out that her heartrate could have been going a mile a minute, meaning that the fact she didn’t use her powers here isn’t as big a plot-hole as some might want to think. She might have only been able to go a step or two before snapping back.
Act 4
Agent Diaz goes to ready a medevac (sad that she’s leaving but great that she survives) and Yoyo helps him back to the lab. The captions helpfully let us know that his bones are cracking, for the hard of hearing and also for those of us wanting to deny what we’re hearing and seeing. Keller takes a look at the crystal cadaver (and his future) and tells Benson to do whatever he’s got to do to fix it, because he can’t turn into that.
Okay, back to me. The agents storm the building. May is the only one without a weapon. She shakes her head upon entering. She can’t believe this what Deke Shaw’s been doing the past year. Mack says they probably shouldn’t have let it get this far.
May: Was he informed we lost Fitz?
Mack: Not my call. Besides, we don’t know id we lost him yet.
Just then a smoke grenade is tossed their way. Mack tells the other agents to stay low and keep eyes on their team. We see Pax on the upper level, and he busies himself by taking shots at them. Kahn sees him and says he has one on top. Pax runs away and Snowflake enters, giving a nice little wave. May sees her and shouts, “One in back.” She then touches her ear comm. “Wilson, Gibbs, any sign of him?”
The agent on comms says, “Negative. We do not have eyes on Coulson.” Mack says that they will split up and then tells Kahn to take a team and sweep for civilians. Mack will secure the north side. I just realized Mack at least is holding an ICER. May says she is going after the girl Mack reminds May that their objective is to bring them in alive. May gives Mack a look and then rounds a corner and is gone.
On the QJ, Deke tells his new babysitter, Agent Julian, that that was definitely gunfire and that they’re not safe and should go. Julian tells him that his orders are to stay. Deke sighs and says he gets that and then asks if HQ knows who he has on board? Deke Shaw. He’s kind of special.
Deke then gets a call from Sequoia. She tells him that she brought boba and asks where everybody is. He asks where she is, and she scoffs. She came through the back because as an influencer she always avoids front doors. She then asks where he is and if they are doing a surprise retreat again. Deke tells her NO but she continues, “Or are you testing the game? Because I think I heard gunfire.”
Deke tells her excitedly, “No, it –it’s not the game. The office was attacked.” Sequoia tells him to stop messing with her and he says he not and that she needs to find a place to hide. That’s when she seems the after math of a mass shooting….or just a shooting, sorry to get topical…and Deke tells her to get off the phone and hide! Someone will come and get her.
S: Somebody? Who?
D: SHIELD?
S: Deke!
D: Okay! Okay! I’m gonna come and get you. I’ll see you soon!
Deke then grabs a Kevlar vest off a rack and goes to take a weapon but finds the case empty, which is perfect, and leaves. After he’s gone, the world’s worst babysitter, (besides maybe Coulson in Iron Man 2) is at the cockpit and says that he just spoke to HQ and Deke does not have Priority Status. He then turns around to find a Deke-less QJ.
Back to oh8four…
Benson warns that the parasite is growing and attaching itself to Keller’s vascular system. He briefly debates with Yoyo about taking him to a hospital, but there isn’t time for it anyways. Keller tries to cope with the situation with a joke and Yoyo tells him he’ll be fine. (plot twist: nope) Benson gives him a sedative that sends him into a seizure. After flatlining, Keller grabs Benson and chokes him and Yoyo uses her powers to restrain him. Benson, getting over the fact that Yoyo isn’t just a cyborg but an Inhuman, and that this is just an average day at SHIELD, tells her he can operate on Keller despite him flailing around.
In the building, Pax uses a tablet to track something, and finds a guy with a headset on and working at dual monitors. Pax looks at him for a few seconds but moves on when there is activity on the tablet.
Deke finds Sequoia in the women’s bathroom (don’t bring drinks into the bathroom. I clean them and I still say it’s gross). They hug and she slaps him, in a way that parodies Daisy in the game. She asks what took him so long. He says to just listen and tells him that there are people after him, he doesn’t know why but think it’s because he’s not supposed to be here. Like he’s not supposed to exist in this reality. “Do you remember how I explained this to you on the Playa?”
Sequoia says that once again this is all about Deke. He says that this time it is all about him. He then says that if there’s one thing he knows how to do it’s run away and survive so she’s gonna follow him, okay? Is she ready?
She says she is and grabs the drinks, but he says that maybe they should just leave them. They then exit the bathroom.
Cut to May who is stalking up a stairwell. She sees Snowflake through the door and tells the agents over comms and asks if there’s any sign of “him”. May goes through the door stealthily and we cut to Mack who says, “Not yet. But if this guy wants to take out Deke Shaw, he’s gonna have to wait in line” as Mack looks into the conference room and sees the table covered with every prop ever used on AoS.
Back to May. May is walking on the smoke filled, dark upper level by the railing. Snowflake comes from out of nowhere, swinging her knife. May dodges and Snowflakes stops, noting that May doesn’t like guns either while smiling. May never needed them.
Snowflake: Boys with their toys.
They fights and at one point, May uses her environment and her environment is a phone which she uses to try to strangle Snow. “If you’d like to make a call…” Anyway…Snow ends up on the ground. She gets up after they stare at each other and Snow runs. May floors her again by CLOTHESLINING HER (So May was probably on a boy’s football team at one point, right?)
May stands over Snowflake but Snowflake says, “You know who does like toys?”
“I do.” And Sarge comes from the shadows and hold his space gun on May, cocking it.
May gives that May look that says she would kill everyone, but she wants information and doesn’t see the point.
Act 5
Deke and Sequoia are moving through a different part of the building, holding hands. She’s on her phone and Deke asks if she’s posting this. She holds the phone to her chest and says, “No.”
They continue on and are blindsided by Pax. Pax is only interested in Deke and pulls his knife, stepping towards him. Deke says, “Wait, wait, stop” and Pax says, “You may be a talker but you’re still a target.” It’s then that Pax gets Mack-punched to the side of the head.
Mack then hands Deke his ICER and tells him to keep Sequoia safe. Mack and Pax then fight hand to hand and Deke lingers; the gun raised on Pax. Mack lifts Pax and tosses him like clean laundry on a bed and then punches him out. Deke then comes alongside him and unloads the ICER into Pax. “I think we’re good.”
Sequoia has a bit of freak out: “What…is….happening?” Deke walks to her trying to calm her down and says, “This is Mack. He’s…”
“Large and muscular.”
“An agent of SHIELD.”
Kahn comes and asks if everything is okay and then tells Deke that he needs a doctor. Deke says, No he doesn’t. It’s not as bad as getting shot.
Sequoia: Who even are you?
That’s when Jaco shows up down the way. He shouts to get out of the way. He wants Deke. Deke taps Mack on the vest (so it’s SOP for SHIELD directors to show up in jest Kevlar vests right because Coulson and Fury both did the same) and says that he’s got this (Mack looked like he was think about breaking Deke’s fingers BTW).
Deke aims his ICER and gets ready to fire….and nothing. The clip is empty. Jaco calmly moves closer. Deke tells Kahn to go and protect Sequoia and tells Mack to come with him. He has a plan! GO! GO! GO!
Jaco aims his giant space weapon and misses as Deke and Mack disappear down a hallway.
Back to May, Sarge, and Snowflake (Because Clark and Ming have to take turns and act out holding guns on one another almost every season). Sarge moves around May to join Snow but keeps his gun up.
May stares. “Do what you’re going to do or go to hell.”
Snowflake: I think you might be the prettiest butterfy I’ve ever made.
Sarge: Easy, Snow. Not this one.
May: If you’re not gonna kill me, then what do you want?
Sarge: *cryptic for cryptic’s sake* You’re about to find out.
Cut to Deke and Mack who are running through a hallway and enter a door, pursued by Jaco who is not bothering to run.
Jaco goes through the door too and ends up in the FW where Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy comes out and slaps him, asking what took him so long.
There’s a quick cut and we see Jaco on the floor on his stomach, as Deke and Mack look at him. Mack is rubbing his chin and is pissed. To make it worse, Mack looks down at a monitor and sees what Jaco sees; Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy.
If glares could kill, Deke would be dead right now.
Deke: 2%. I’ll give you 2% of this entire company to keep this between us.
Mack looks away but back at Deke.
Oh, and look at that. It’s a part I’m skipping. Hello for the last time oh8four.
Back at the horror show, Yoyo holds Keller still so Benson can cut into him. As he starts to operate, Keller’s skin burns Benson. They need to get him isolated before he combusts and possibly takes out the whole base, so they start to rush him towards a containment room. As they’re wheeling him down the hall, Keller breaks out of his restraints. Benson warns Yoyo (who clearly has metal arms) not to touch Keller, who suddenly stiffens up straight and starts to crystallize in some of Mark Kolpack’s most brutal work yet. Spikes are coming out from all over him, attaching to walls and somehow not impaling Benson who’s right next to him.
For some reason it’s much more extreme than the first victim. Instead of running away like Benson is warning her, Yoyo whoosh-whooshes to grab the blue knife from earlier and shanks Keller with it. They share a tearful gaze before Keller more than likely dies in front of her. She steps back and slowly collapses in horror as we get a full view of how terrible, awful, and talented this episode’s director is.
Now that that’s over, I’m back and here to say that we see the Hell Rig (I needed to name it). Snowflake is driving and she looks at the mirrors and yells that they have no followers and are clear.
We cut to in the truck and we see the back of a chair. The camera pans around and we see Sarge sitting on a couch and watching May while she sleeps…er, is unconscious. He watches her with his leg on the trunk and smiling. She opens her eyes.
Tag Scene
I’m honestly low on time so for once I am not gonna bother to recap the exact details of the tag scene, which is just Sequoia being Sequoia. I will point out that she calls Team Sarge “super authentic mo-cap actors” though and loves Snowflake’s look enough to use it for someone else. Oh, and while Agent Kahn and she have Frose, we get the first direct in reference to the show in the show with #AgentsofSHIELD.
Written By: Nora Zuckerman and Lilla Zuckerman
Directed By: Mark Kolpack
NOTE: Mark Kolpack directed parts of this episode to be such a perfect and well-crafted horror show that certain fans cannot handle watching the scenes with Benson, Elena, and Keller, once Benson starts the autopsy, and have eyes that are actually open long enough to pick up on details. This means they had to ask for help to do their writing for a certain podcast, which means that another certain fan, oh8four, should be credited as a co-writer said Rundown. 😊
Green = Mechelle’s interjections
Blue = oh8four’s interjections
#HaHaTheShowSaysYouMustReadHashtags #truth
#CoulsonsDNALives #LGB!
Act 1
In a Framework mock-up of Quovas’s ship, DEKE! and Agent Kahn are on the run from digi-Remorath Marauders. Kahn runs out of ammo and Deke supplies him with a smaller Shotgun Axe. Deke then does action movie stunt while wielding two guns. “This just got personal.” Deke lands in a superhero pose all heroically with a dead serious look on his face like this isn’t the FW and is real life.
…“I’m getting too old for this,” he says after a digi-Kree comes up from behind him. He does a move, drops his two pistols and picks up Shotgun Axe and decapitates the digi-Kree, thanking him because he had a blast. Deke then walks away while rock music (but not the kind that accompanies Team Sarge) starts playing and we meet…. Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy. She slaps him asking what took so long and he answers traffic, it was a bitch.
Also, Deke apparently doesn’t know how to program bras into the FW.
Sequoia’s voice (thankfully) interrupts and the FW shuts down, leaving the environment and Daisy frozen but still there, in a way that HAS to be an allusion to Star Trek’s holodeck because he then sighs and says, “End Framework” and it all fades away ala the Enterprise D.
He opens his eyes and we see him laying down on a lemon shaped bean bag chair. He asks this random person, who I do not have in a picture up on my wall, what she is doing here, and she answers “Boba”. (She’s here for a bounty hunter that sucks at his job?)
Deke doesn’t register what she said, and she clarifies with a tone, “We’re supposed to get boba.” Deke gets up and gets it now. “Oh. Boba tea. Yeah, no. I-I got to ask Trevor to check my schedule.”
“Trevor” appears and puts his hands on Deke’s shoulders congratulating him about the sweet raid. They do a special handshake sequence as “Trevor” says that the rendering on that blue guy is really popping. Trevor tells Sequoia that her ‘boy’ is a visionary. Deke replies that he’s only saying that because she’s here and then kisses her on the cheek.
They do a Sorkinian walk-and-talk. Deke asks if he has time for a boba break. Trevor doesn’t know, they got VC coming in for round-two financing. Then they talk about company stuff, with Deke saying their growth is “pure hockey stick” as we get an understanding of how insanely well this tech business is doing. (Think it has a secret bar in a wall like Pixar?) More exposition speech. Deke is using the money they’re making now to fund his new ‘replicate SHIELD’s stuff’ initiatives. They stop to face Sequoia and just happen to have the OVERKILL DEVICE! and, appropriately, THE 084! on a table behind them.
Deke gets upset because Trevor joins him in saying “in real reality” when Deke says he wants to change the world in real reality.
Sequoia likes what she hears and wants to record Deke’s speech. He immediately does a perfect video explanation…until he gets to the one simple staple, organic, biodynamic, sustainable, easily attainable mushroom pellets. Pretty sure Deke knew it wouldn’t go down well because of the look on his face. Sequoia is like, “change the world much?’ and “Trevor” jumps in Deke’s defense. She waves Trevor away and they start walking with her still recording. Deke says stuff like, “like rideshare disrupted drunk driving”.
Cue Title Card
At the Lighthouse, Mack asks, Agent Diaz, a new POC, if she has anything for him. Yes, they are running CCTV, local law enforcement and satellite imagery but so far they have no eyes on their targets since the fireworks. Mack tells Diaz that May is running point on this so make sure she knows. Diaz, who has been following Mack responds by stopping to face Mack and say, “Believe me. She’s on it.”
Mack walks into his office where he finds Keller. This scene is very uncomfortable. Keller wants to know about certain protocols and disclose a relationship but Mack cuts him off-if he knew about relationships, he would have to separate teams because it would create a conflict of interest. Mack says that he plans on enforcing that policy and then asks if Keller believes himself to be compromised, theoretically.
Elena then comes in, reads the room, and asks if it’s a bad time. Mack says, “not at all” and Elena tells him that Benson did an analysis of the area where Fake Coulson (I HATE THATE NAME-USE A CODENAME SHIELD) put on the fireworks show. Mack reads the report. Benson didn’t find; atmospheric toxicity, no disruption of air traffic. He did find “trace amounts of statically charged particles”.
Elena adds, “Suspended in orbit. Eyewitnesses described a pattern in the sky, a grid. So I was thinking, maybe they were making a map.” Keller thinks that robbing a jewelry store and firing a cannon are a lot of trouble if they could just check GPS. Elena think they are looking for something, but who knows what it is.
Cut to Jaco and Pax. They use a tablet to find their “mark” a guy standing in line for a bus. The man sees them and bolts as Jaco and Pax charge their weapons. He runs into an alley where Snowflake blocks their path and Sarge comes out of the shadows.
Sarge shanks the guy in the stomach with a knife and he becomes pointy all over his body. The body slides to the ground and Snowflake says, “Definitely not a Butterfly.” Sarge then asks, “So who’s next?” and we cut to…
Deke. Of course, it’s Deke. Deke is telling Sequoia that he’s thinking about calling it, “The Post Food Movement” and “Trevor” loves it. Deke wants her help coming up with hashtags (that can be hard sometimes!), she says “obviously.”
Kaya, another POC!, comes over with a bowl of ….something. It’s a taste test for Mr. Shaw. He gives it a shot and he doesn’t seem to like it but says it’s closer and that he can still taste that taste that he can’t seem to ever…forget. “Just keep trying.”
Lindsay comes over tell Deke that there’s a very weird homeless hobo looking dude that is waiting for him and said that he had an appointment and couldn’t wait. “Trevor” freaks out because the meeting isn’t for another two hours and he hadn’t updated the deck. Deke blames himself for this for making business connections at Burning Man. Trevor will load the presentation into the holo-table and Kaya will hold off the pellets. Lindsay is sent off for…what the Fitz is a charcoal water?
Deke starts to walk away but Sequoia says she still needs boba. Deke asks if there’s anyway she can get the boba and bring it back so he can close this deal. She simply says, “Okay.”
In the conference room, Deke finds a sneering, scowling Sarge who then says, “I’ve been looking all over for you” and produces his blue bladed knife.
Act 2
Deke: Coulson! Buddy!
Sarge moves the knife so it’s hidden alongside his forearm.
Sarge: *screwing on a smile* That’s me.
D: Listen—before you get all bent out of shape and rules-y, this stuff *gestures to the table with like EVERYTHING on it* is just for the game. You know, o-o-our actual mission lies in the Corporates Social Responsibility movement. Did you know that ½ of 1 percent of all of our profit goes straight to the DSFBFF-the Deke Shaw For a Better Future Foundation?
S: Can’t argue with that.
D: See? I knew you’d get it.
Sarge doesn’t say anything and they just look at each other.
D: So….Why didn’t you just call ahead like a normal person?
S: Who wants to be normal? *steps closer to Deke*
D: Right. Totally. #Truth.
Sarge is now right in front of Deke. Also, there’s a little LOLA in a display case behind Sarge.
S: That’s what I always say.
D: *confused* You do? W-What am I—I mean how—how amazing is it that you’re even standing here right now? I mean. You—you look good. A little rocking a dark vibe, but good.
Sarge has head cocked and looks intrigued.
D: So, I got to know—how did they do it? How did they save your life?
S: I don’t even know. What did they tell you?
D: Uh, I, uh, I’ve had very little contact since… *walks to the end of the table* {sighs} I…don’t really…I mean, but— but you should….
Sarge stares blankly.
D: Oh, for reals?
Sarge cocks his head.
D; Dang. They gave you the SHIELD memory wipe, huh? Yeah, well that makes sense I guess.
S: *walks towards Deke again* Yeah, I guess. So, do me a solid. Fill me in on what you do know.
Back at the Lighthouse, Sarge’s shanking victim is being rolled down a corridor on a stretcher. May is telling Mack that Reno PD’s first call was to SHIELD. Mack says that it takes more than a body to get May’s attention and May says that the suspects also fit the description. Does she think it might be him? May knows it’s him and hands Mack a tablet to clarify; CCTV confirmed it.
Mack: It’s Coulson.
May: He’s not Coulson.
Mack: We got to call him something.
May: Not that. (Thank you, May!)
Elena joins Keller who’s waiting at an elevator door and facing it.
Keller: Heard a body came in. We know the cause of death?
Elena: No, but if they called us, it means it’s not old age.
The door opens and they go in. Elena crosses her arms.
E: So, you and Mack, in his office.
K: Yeah.
E: You told him. I wish you would have talked to me about it.
K: *not looking at her* If it makes you feel better, he didn’t exactly let me finish.
E: He doesn’t want to know so he doesn’t have to put us on different missions.
K: *finally faces her* I’m sure that’s part of it, but…it’s just, I also got the sense that he isn’t over you.
E: Why would you tell me that?
K: You should know how he feels before—or if we… You should know. But to be clear, I’m in. I will fight for you if I have to. Not fight fight—Mack terrifies me. But more emotionally fight.
E: *chuckles* Always acting so noble.
The door opens
K: Yeah, I think you like that act.
Elena and Keller join Benson, May, and Mack in the lab. The cadaver is covered and Benson says that this is another first for him. He takes off a sheet and they see how crystals are protruding from the body and head, and how it is extra shiny.
Elena: What happened to him
May: *handing over tablet* They did.
Elena: He didn’t seem to care if he was seen.
Benson: He only cared about turning this guy into some kind of science experiment.
Mack: Yeah, we still don’t have an ID, but we should have one soon.
Keller: Report says this guy brought a ticket to Sioux City. That’s a convergence spot for three separate Ley Lines, FYI.
Mack: At this point, I’m not ruling out anything. Benson. Keller. Rodriguez, we need to find out what happened to this man. May, prep a Quinjet.
May: Already done.
Mack: You and I will head that way to see if we can this guy who’s not Coulson.
Back to the man in question, he says he’s sorry. He guesses he’s drawing a blank.
Deke: Man. You—you don’t remember all the heroic stuff I did? That’s…. I guess Fitz didn’t go easy on you.
S: Guess not.
D: How are they anyway? I feel bad I didn’t get a proper goodbye with the grandparents.
S: Slowing down but still hanging in there.
D: What about Agent May. I mean, she wouldn’t leave your side. Is she—is she nearby somewhere?
S: Of course.
D: But what I’m – what I’m, like dying to know is, is how is Agent…Doug.
S: Well, you know, Doug’s Doug.
D: Yeah, that is #Truth. Um, oh. I just forgot something. I’ll be back in one minute.
Deke goes to RUN AWAY but Sarge grabs his arm, spins him around to face him, and pulls his knife.
S: You’re a real talker, but you’re not from here and you shouldn’t be here, so I got to take you and make you sing.
Deke does a maneuver and ends up pinning down Sarge’s left hand long enough to stab it with one of those glass reward thingeys. Sarge is in pain and Deke is surprised, as is the fanbase because a burning question is answered. “A real hand. Not Coulson.”
The glass thing either breaks off or is pulled out of Sarge’s hand by Deke, we don’t know because we don’t see it, and Deke runs away while Sarge tells Deke, “You know you’re already dead, right?”
Deke runs out of the room and straight into Jaco. He gets off the floor saying, “That is a large, large man.” Jaco is looking at a tablet and knows he has his target. A security guard, Ray, is there and pulls a taser on Jaco. Pax shoots Ray with an energy or plasma weapon and Deke tries to catch him as he falls.
That’s when EVERYONE starts running away.
Deke runs into Snowflake who is simply walking towards him. He knocks boxes onto the floor to slow her down.
Cat to Sarge leaving the conference room and calmly wrapping his hand. He meets Jaco and Pax. Jaco says the tracker says Deke is not from this world, but his signature is different from the others. Sarge calls that strange and Jaco responds, “If you consider the infinite complexity of nature, maybe “strange” is the norm. (Dude, this is Agents of SHIELD. A normal anything is weird.)
Pax says, “Strange or not, he’s still a target” and hands Sarge a pistol. Sarge calls Deke a talker, not just a target. They know what that means. Pax replies, “Kill him slow, make him bleed.”
(oh8four here chiming in with these scenes because they’re super icky)
Back at the Lighthouse, Benson saws into the crystal cadaver and calls it the strangest autopsy he’s done since…. Tinker. Keller ID’s the guy, as Harold Simcoe, who randomly left his life behind in Sacramento (finally my hometown gets a shout out from Marvel). Benson gets Keller’s help opening up the body and remarks that this must be an average day for them, just as they all look inside to see the chest cavity hollowed out and a gross bat-looking alien rooting itself into it.
Note: I asked Mark Kolpack for the name of said Bat-creatures and Marvel snipers were listening, so I did not get an answer. We will find out later, he said.
Act 3
And I’m back: Deke is hiding in dark office space, playing a high stakes game of hide and go seek. Sarge is monologuing and says that he has been hunting Deke’s kind his whole life. “And let me tell you – there’s no use hiding in this world or the next. We’ll always find you. *getting frustrated he can’t find him* So, why don’t you come on out, make things easier on your old friend, Coulson?
He hears Deke: “You are not Phil Coulson. And I don’t know how you stole his face, but it is not chill, man. It’s not chill.”
Sarge locates the sound and finds a speaker as Deke continues, “And if you’re upset that I borrowed a few ideas from SHIELD, it’s not like they didn’t steal half of the stuff from aliens.” We cut to see Deke speaking into his watch. “Productivity is connectivity.” We Sarge looking at this speaker with a look on his face.
Meanwhile, Deke is grabbed by “Trevor” who gives him directions to get out of the building safely because he called for extract. Deke asks who he is. “Trevor Kahn. Agent of SHIELD” Agent Trevor then gently tosses a die-like grenade and it lands by Sarge and explodes.
Take it away, oh8four….
Meanwhile, Benson goes over the blood panel of the corpse; it’s flooded with a combustible neurotoxin from the creature inside. He likens it to Cordyceps fungus in Amazonian ants which turns hosts into self-destructive zombies (that’s a real thing, I guess) . YoYo hypothesizes that Fake Coulson stuck the parasite into him, which I wasn’t sure was the case if he abandoned his family before Sarge tracked him down. Benson also shows them Chekov's blue knife which shouldn’t come up later whatsoever. The bat starts to squirm and flies out of the body (because of course it did) and forces itself into an air vent.
Back to me.
Deke and Kahn (KAHHHHHN!!! Sorry, that joke had to be made) exit the back of the building. Deke is going on about Kahn being a SHIELD agent this whole time. Did he really think SHIELD would let him get away with ripping off all of SHIELD’s tech. Deke mentions a Phish concert and an escape room and demands to know if Trevor was letting him win in “Remorath Rumble.” Trvor says, “Okay, I won’t tell you that.”
They then see and head a QJ and Deke is like, “You called Mack?! I thought we were best friends!
In that QJ we see the agents gearing up. May looks at the computer screen and then looks at Deke but says nothing when he appears behind her. Mack tells Agent Kahn that they rerouted as soon as they got the call. Kahn tells him that he’s glad they were close by and addresses May who asks if he’s having trouble with his babysitting assignment because they have bigger problems.
“This isn’t just a Code Yellow.” (Deke mouths the words, as Kahn continues) “I didn’t want to put this over the radio, but…one of the guys inside the building is the spitting image of Phil Coulson.”
Mack and May are shocked.
Mack: Wait, he’s inside the building right now?
Kahn: As far as I know.
Mack: *to the agents* All right, people, this no longer an extraction. It’s an assault. Let’s go!
May: I’m on point with Khan, Gibbs, Wilson.
The agents all suit up and stand up.
Deke: Hold on. First off, a hello would be nice. And second, am I a Code Yellow and should I be insulted? Because it feels that way. *Mack takes an agent aside and whispers something* And-and most of all, w-why is Coulson trying to kill me? What—what—what the hell is happening?
May: What’s happening is we got lucky.
Mack: All right, Deke. You’re safe now. Stay here.
Deke: Well, who’s gonna protect me? Is Daisy coming or Fitz or Simmons or –
Mack: *opening the QJ’s cargo ramp* Okay’s let’s roll!
Deke: Yeah, Okay.
May: *To Deke* Congratulations. You didn’t get yourself killed.
They exit the QJ leaving Deke.
Back to oh8four’s contribution:
Yoyo and Keller catch Agent Diaz up on the alien-zombie-bird (side note: Where is the Agent Diaz show?) and Yoyo is ready to catch it this time. They hear it scrambling around in the vents and Keller gives Yoyo a boost up inside to get a peek at it. While she’s up there, Keller instantly regrets standing there with his mouth wide open because the bat flies into it. Yoyo freezes and watches it burrow itself all the way into Keller. It’s this moment where I’d like to point out that her heartrate could have been going a mile a minute, meaning that the fact she didn’t use her powers here isn’t as big a plot-hole as some might want to think. She might have only been able to go a step or two before snapping back.
Act 4
Agent Diaz goes to ready a medevac (sad that she’s leaving but great that she survives) and Yoyo helps him back to the lab. The captions helpfully let us know that his bones are cracking, for the hard of hearing and also for those of us wanting to deny what we’re hearing and seeing. Keller takes a look at the crystal cadaver (and his future) and tells Benson to do whatever he’s got to do to fix it, because he can’t turn into that.
Okay, back to me. The agents storm the building. May is the only one without a weapon. She shakes her head upon entering. She can’t believe this what Deke Shaw’s been doing the past year. Mack says they probably shouldn’t have let it get this far.
May: Was he informed we lost Fitz?
Mack: Not my call. Besides, we don’t know id we lost him yet.
Just then a smoke grenade is tossed their way. Mack tells the other agents to stay low and keep eyes on their team. We see Pax on the upper level, and he busies himself by taking shots at them. Kahn sees him and says he has one on top. Pax runs away and Snowflake enters, giving a nice little wave. May sees her and shouts, “One in back.” She then touches her ear comm. “Wilson, Gibbs, any sign of him?”
The agent on comms says, “Negative. We do not have eyes on Coulson.” Mack says that they will split up and then tells Kahn to take a team and sweep for civilians. Mack will secure the north side. I just realized Mack at least is holding an ICER. May says she is going after the girl Mack reminds May that their objective is to bring them in alive. May gives Mack a look and then rounds a corner and is gone.
On the QJ, Deke tells his new babysitter, Agent Julian, that that was definitely gunfire and that they’re not safe and should go. Julian tells him that his orders are to stay. Deke sighs and says he gets that and then asks if HQ knows who he has on board? Deke Shaw. He’s kind of special.
Deke then gets a call from Sequoia. She tells him that she brought boba and asks where everybody is. He asks where she is, and she scoffs. She came through the back because as an influencer she always avoids front doors. She then asks where he is and if they are doing a surprise retreat again. Deke tells her NO but she continues, “Or are you testing the game? Because I think I heard gunfire.”
Deke tells her excitedly, “No, it –it’s not the game. The office was attacked.” Sequoia tells him to stop messing with her and he says he not and that she needs to find a place to hide. That’s when she seems the after math of a mass shooting….or just a shooting, sorry to get topical…and Deke tells her to get off the phone and hide! Someone will come and get her.
S: Somebody? Who?
D: SHIELD?
S: Deke!
D: Okay! Okay! I’m gonna come and get you. I’ll see you soon!
Deke then grabs a Kevlar vest off a rack and goes to take a weapon but finds the case empty, which is perfect, and leaves. After he’s gone, the world’s worst babysitter, (besides maybe Coulson in Iron Man 2) is at the cockpit and says that he just spoke to HQ and Deke does not have Priority Status. He then turns around to find a Deke-less QJ.
Back to oh8four…
Benson warns that the parasite is growing and attaching itself to Keller’s vascular system. He briefly debates with Yoyo about taking him to a hospital, but there isn’t time for it anyways. Keller tries to cope with the situation with a joke and Yoyo tells him he’ll be fine. (plot twist: nope) Benson gives him a sedative that sends him into a seizure. After flatlining, Keller grabs Benson and chokes him and Yoyo uses her powers to restrain him. Benson, getting over the fact that Yoyo isn’t just a cyborg but an Inhuman, and that this is just an average day at SHIELD, tells her he can operate on Keller despite him flailing around.
In the building, Pax uses a tablet to track something, and finds a guy with a headset on and working at dual monitors. Pax looks at him for a few seconds but moves on when there is activity on the tablet.
Deke finds Sequoia in the women’s bathroom (don’t bring drinks into the bathroom. I clean them and I still say it’s gross). They hug and she slaps him, in a way that parodies Daisy in the game. She asks what took him so long. He says to just listen and tells him that there are people after him, he doesn’t know why but think it’s because he’s not supposed to be here. Like he’s not supposed to exist in this reality. “Do you remember how I explained this to you on the Playa?”
Sequoia says that once again this is all about Deke. He says that this time it is all about him. He then says that if there’s one thing he knows how to do it’s run away and survive so she’s gonna follow him, okay? Is she ready?
She says she is and grabs the drinks, but he says that maybe they should just leave them. They then exit the bathroom.
Cut to May who is stalking up a stairwell. She sees Snowflake through the door and tells the agents over comms and asks if there’s any sign of “him”. May goes through the door stealthily and we cut to Mack who says, “Not yet. But if this guy wants to take out Deke Shaw, he’s gonna have to wait in line” as Mack looks into the conference room and sees the table covered with every prop ever used on AoS.
Back to May. May is walking on the smoke filled, dark upper level by the railing. Snowflake comes from out of nowhere, swinging her knife. May dodges and Snowflakes stops, noting that May doesn’t like guns either while smiling. May never needed them.
Snowflake: Boys with their toys.
They fights and at one point, May uses her environment and her environment is a phone which she uses to try to strangle Snow. “If you’d like to make a call…” Anyway…Snow ends up on the ground. She gets up after they stare at each other and Snow runs. May floors her again by CLOTHESLINING HER (So May was probably on a boy’s football team at one point, right?)
May stands over Snowflake but Snowflake says, “You know who does like toys?”
“I do.” And Sarge comes from the shadows and hold his space gun on May, cocking it.
May gives that May look that says she would kill everyone, but she wants information and doesn’t see the point.
Act 5
Deke and Sequoia are moving through a different part of the building, holding hands. She’s on her phone and Deke asks if she’s posting this. She holds the phone to her chest and says, “No.”
They continue on and are blindsided by Pax. Pax is only interested in Deke and pulls his knife, stepping towards him. Deke says, “Wait, wait, stop” and Pax says, “You may be a talker but you’re still a target.” It’s then that Pax gets Mack-punched to the side of the head.
Mack then hands Deke his ICER and tells him to keep Sequoia safe. Mack and Pax then fight hand to hand and Deke lingers; the gun raised on Pax. Mack lifts Pax and tosses him like clean laundry on a bed and then punches him out. Deke then comes alongside him and unloads the ICER into Pax. “I think we’re good.”
Sequoia has a bit of freak out: “What…is….happening?” Deke walks to her trying to calm her down and says, “This is Mack. He’s…”
“Large and muscular.”
“An agent of SHIELD.”
Kahn comes and asks if everything is okay and then tells Deke that he needs a doctor. Deke says, No he doesn’t. It’s not as bad as getting shot.
Sequoia: Who even are you?
That’s when Jaco shows up down the way. He shouts to get out of the way. He wants Deke. Deke taps Mack on the vest (so it’s SOP for SHIELD directors to show up in jest Kevlar vests right because Coulson and Fury both did the same) and says that he’s got this (Mack looked like he was think about breaking Deke’s fingers BTW).
Deke aims his ICER and gets ready to fire….and nothing. The clip is empty. Jaco calmly moves closer. Deke tells Kahn to go and protect Sequoia and tells Mack to come with him. He has a plan! GO! GO! GO!
Jaco aims his giant space weapon and misses as Deke and Mack disappear down a hallway.
Back to May, Sarge, and Snowflake (Because Clark and Ming have to take turns and act out holding guns on one another almost every season). Sarge moves around May to join Snow but keeps his gun up.
May stares. “Do what you’re going to do or go to hell.”
Snowflake: I think you might be the prettiest butterfy I’ve ever made.
Sarge: Easy, Snow. Not this one.
May: If you’re not gonna kill me, then what do you want?
Sarge: *cryptic for cryptic’s sake* You’re about to find out.
Cut to Deke and Mack who are running through a hallway and enter a door, pursued by Jaco who is not bothering to run.
Jaco goes through the door too and ends up in the FW where Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy comes out and slaps him, asking what took him so long.
There’s a quick cut and we see Jaco on the floor on his stomach, as Deke and Mack look at him. Mack is rubbing his chin and is pissed. To make it worse, Mack looks down at a monitor and sees what Jaco sees; Deke’s Wet-Dream Fantasy Daisy.
If glares could kill, Deke would be dead right now.
Deke: 2%. I’ll give you 2% of this entire company to keep this between us.
Mack looks away but back at Deke.
Oh, and look at that. It’s a part I’m skipping. Hello for the last time oh8four.
Back at the horror show, Yoyo holds Keller still so Benson can cut into him. As he starts to operate, Keller’s skin burns Benson. They need to get him isolated before he combusts and possibly takes out the whole base, so they start to rush him towards a containment room. As they’re wheeling him down the hall, Keller breaks out of his restraints. Benson warns Yoyo (who clearly has metal arms) not to touch Keller, who suddenly stiffens up straight and starts to crystallize in some of Mark Kolpack’s most brutal work yet. Spikes are coming out from all over him, attaching to walls and somehow not impaling Benson who’s right next to him.
For some reason it’s much more extreme than the first victim. Instead of running away like Benson is warning her, Yoyo whoosh-whooshes to grab the blue knife from earlier and shanks Keller with it. They share a tearful gaze before Keller more than likely dies in front of her. She steps back and slowly collapses in horror as we get a full view of how terrible, awful, and talented this episode’s director is.
Now that that’s over, I’m back and here to say that we see the Hell Rig (I needed to name it). Snowflake is driving and she looks at the mirrors and yells that they have no followers and are clear.
We cut to in the truck and we see the back of a chair. The camera pans around and we see Sarge sitting on a couch and watching May while she sleeps…er, is unconscious. He watches her with his leg on the trunk and smiling. She opens her eyes.
Tag Scene
I’m honestly low on time so for once I am not gonna bother to recap the exact details of the tag scene, which is just Sequoia being Sequoia. I will point out that she calls Team Sarge “super authentic mo-cap actors” though and loves Snowflake’s look enough to use it for someone else. Oh, and while Agent Kahn and she have Frose, we get the first direct in reference to the show in the show with #AgentsofSHIELD.
I'll be spending next weekend with some family I like and trying to avoid any remotely controversial conversations with others that I spend the rest of the year avoiding 