Post by caseyrook AKA Mechelle on Jun 11, 2019 1:54:02 GMT
6x01 “We Do What We Want, ABC!”
AKA “Fear and Loathing on the Planet of Kitson”
Written By: Brent Fletcher and Craig Titley
Directed By: Jesse Bochco
#CoulsonsDNALives #LETSGOBLUES
Act 1
We start off with Malachi, the Hunter Chronicom, assembling his equipment and weapon? as out of focus faces and profiles flash on screen. He looks up from whatever he is doing when Fitz and Enoch’s faces appear and an alarm beeps. He rises, finishes what he’s doing and takes a disk and tosses it on the floor. A spinney portal thing appears, and he steps in and stuff spins and he’s gone. The portal thing then flies through the air and away.
Cue Title Card
NARO-ATZIA
CUSTOMS STATION C1-741
Davis and Piper are arguing to Daisy about Simmons as Simmons stands there, arms folded, looking away and just listening. Piper and Davis are annoyed at their lack of food and jumps available and Piper wants Simmons locked up in the cargo hold because she put their lives and the mission at risk. Finally Simmons cuts in, saying “Fitz is the mission.We didn’t come this far to give up. (To herself) Cowards.”
Daisy puts an end to this with “Enough” and chastises them saying Simmons is right, Fitz is the mission but she’s the mission leader and it was her call to make, not Simmons’. Simmons asks her whose side she is on, and Daisy fires back that she knows damn well whose side they are ALL on. They went to a Fire Planet for Simmons. They followed every bread crumb to find him and now they are at the end of a galaxy because of a tiny word they can’t even read.
Jemma yells that she told them what it said, but Daisy continues saying they need to take a step back. They can’t save Fitz if they can’t fix themselves. “We’re going home. Hopefully we can make it there.”
Simmons: Go if you want, but I’m staying.
Daisy: Permission denied. And if you have a problems with that, I’ll have you locked up until we get there.
Simmons: I’d like to see you try.
Piper; *raises an eyebrow*
Simmons, Daisy has superpowers.
Just then, there’s rumbling and buzzing, and Pretorious Pryce appears on screen with greetings. He welcomes them to Naro-Atzia and introduces himself as their duly appointed customs officer. Their spacecraft has been docked, and he is requesting permission to come aboard for their welcoming inspection.
Daisy tries to tell Pryce that won’t be necessary and they won’t be visiting but she and Pryce go back and forth and they CAN’T go, they’re already in the system. Once they are in the system, they are IN the system. There are forms. Prepared forms. Pryce doesn’t like the rules but they must be enforced.
Dasiy: Fine. Come aboard.
Simmons, who is still in the back because she hadn’t moved, says that maybe Pryce inspected Fitz’s ship. They can at least ask, can’t they? “He could be so close.” They give her looks.
KITSON CITY
THE PLANET OF KITSON
Fitz and Enoch are told by a guy named Boyle that the snails should fetch a good price at market, enough for food and supplies. He then asks them where they are heading, Fitz answers Naro Atzia and Enoch then spills all the very exact and detailed beans… Fitz is like, “DUDE” and Boyle says their business is their business. Toad then speaks and says hey heard what Fitz and Enoch did, saving the crew and giving the Controller his walking papers. They are real heroes. Fitz is quick to say that anyone would have done the same.
Boyle: Not around here.
Fitz sees the edibles and eyes them.
Fitz: Those look good.
Toad: *taking one and tossing it to Fitz* They taste even better.
Then, like Sallah stopping Indy from eating the bad dates, Enoch catches it midair.
Enoch: These are not meant for Terran consumption, especially not on an empty stomach. We will find you nourishment after we are paid.
Fitz: I know but I’m starving…
Boyle: Yeah, about that.
Fitz and Enoch turn around to see Boyle has a gun on them.
B: We’re just gonna take the snails and the, uh, ship, too.
Fitz asks why Boyle is doing this and Boyle says his business is his business. Toad takes a tablet and shows them the screen, adding that their business seems to be everybody’s. The screen shows the same mugshots of Fitz and Enoch’s as Malachi’s screen.
F and E are given a choice: get off Boyle’s ship (the ship Fitz and Enoch just arrived with and I specify this because it confused me) or they tell the local enforcer’s that they’re here. Fitz offers them the snails but wants to keep the ship. It’s the only one off the planet. Boyle decides to be a version of nice and says he will pay them for the ship and snails and tosses Fitz a ship.
Fitz is like, “Really?” and Boyle explains that this planet has a reputation. Fortunes are lost here, but they are also won as well. Maybe their luck will take an upswing.
Entering the House of Games, the Greeter welcomes them and asks them to “check your weapons and moral high ground, then walk through the scanner. Robots, droids, mechs, cyborgs (Would Coulson be excluded?), and synths are strictly prohibited. Violators will be removed and executed.”
Fitz starts to say that Enoch should maybe wait outside but before he can finish his sentence Enoch has already gone through the scanner. He was able to do that because he was not any of the listed things and as a Chronicom, he was designed with internal mechanisms that mask his non-organic structure and mimic human biological function. He can easily fool any scanner.
Fitz: Cool. Good to know. Glad you made it. *walks off*
Walking down the stairs to the gaming room, Enoch basically says that he is having a facsimile of fun and that he considers Fitz his friend. When he asks Fitz if it’s safe to assume that Fitz feels the same way, Fitz says that he feels like they are Xandarian snails: they keep moving but don’t get anywhere.
In the gaming room, they see crazy alien space casino. Fitz calls it not exactly Monte Carlo and Enoch says that they may need only one chip and he is well versed in over 10,000 galactic games of chance, several of which are being played in this casino. Fitz turns to look at him in full disbelief: Enoch is telling him that now? What games are Enoch good at? Approximately none. He has no experiential knowledge. He has only ever been an observer.
Fitz: *having just face palmed* I’m never gonna see her again.
Back on Zephyr, Pryce tells Daisy, Piper and Simmons that they’ll be on their way in no time and asks them to surrender their weapons per blah blah blah. Piper and Simmons go to do that. Piper sets her down right behind Pryce and threatens him that they better get them back. Pryce eyes Daisy who explains that she doesn’t carry one. Behind Daisy, Simmons sets her down on a box and Pryce points at her, saying their weapons will be returned to them upon satisfaction completion of their inspection per blah blah blah. Daisy shuts him up by saying, “Yeah, we go it.’
Pryce: What is your planet of origin?
Daisy: Earth.
Pryce: Terrans? *suspiciously* Purpose of your visit to Naro-Atzia?
Simmons: *steps forward, phone in hand* We’re looking for this man. We believe he may be down on your planet. His name is Leopold Fitz.
Pryce recoils at the name and whispers that they should not have said that name.
Daisy: Why?
P: Because he’s here, listening.
S: Fitz is here?
Pryce starts to shake his head when Malachi enters and shoots Daisy.
Act 2
Back from commercials, Simmons immediately rushes to Daisy. Malachi then takes aim at Simmons who is at Daisy’s side and Simmons dodges the shot, heading back by cargo containers and taking cover. Malachi then hits Piper as she’s headed for her weapon. Next up is Pryce who says, “Please friend there is no need of further violence. I am confident the remaining crew will submit peacefully.” As he says this Simmons glances around the cargo container and looks at her weapon which is where she left it on a box. As soon as Pryce finishes speaking Simmons heads for it pausing for a second behind Pryce and makes it to it and has it in her hand right as Malachi takes aim….and is hit in the back of the head by Davis. “Guess we didn’t pass inspection.”
Back at the casino of scum and villainy, Fitz doesn’t know what game to play to have the best chance. Enoch thinks a drink will help them decide and orders two Barracooladas. Fitz chastises him, not because of the taste but because uh, how will they pay for these liquid monstrosities with one lousy chip? Enoch takes that one lousy chip, places it on a table and wins. He knew he would win because it had been over 30 rotations since the marker last landed on the Beast of Clovers. Enoch then goes on about how he knew he would win, and Fitz goes oh, that’s right you’re an advanced computer.
E: That feels reductive.
F: Nope, not reductive. This is exciting. You can win us the money.
E: It was unwise for me to have gambled. The rules are quite clear on synthetic beings.
F; *smiling* Hey. That’s what best friends are for. Think about it, for breaking the rules, putting it all on the line.
E: I am aware of instances where best friends have committed lawless acts together.
F: Exactly.
E…Even murder.
F: What? No. That’s…. That’s, um—that’s a really worrying thing to have said. *puts his hand on Enoch’s shoulder* Why not maybe just stick to gambling? *they start to walk away* This is where fortunes are won, right?
Cut to Malachi who is handcuffed to Zephyr’s cargo bay ladder. He says, “You and your friends are out of time.”
Daisy: Says the guy who is chained to the stairs.
Simmons: Why were you asking the inspector about Fitz?
Malachi: Leopold Fitz is a wanted man.
D: Wanted for what?
M: Tampering with the universe.
S: What made you think Fitz would be here? Was It the Cryo-Chamber?
M: I cannot speak to his purpose, only that Leopold Fitz was scheduled to arrive in the next incoming vessel.
Daisy and Simmons look at each other.
D: You’re right. He’s alive.
S: And close.
Simmons says maybe the inspector can help him find that ship and Daisy is on it.
Daisy leaves and Malachi tells Simmons that Leopold Fitz “should not be here.” Simmons agrees. He should be with them, back on Earth. Malachi answers that Earth is where he died. Over a year ago if he is not mistaken.
Simmons: What are you?
Malachi: A hunter. As I said previously, you and your friends are out of time.
Baxk to Fitz. He watches Enoch down a Barracoolada disgusted and say that the brine really is the best part. Fitz doesn’t answer when asked if he agrees and points to a table in the back across from them. As far as he can tell that’s where the big fish are playing. Enoch points out that that table appears populated with degenerates and outlaws. It shall be an honor for them to join their ranks.
F: That depends on your poker face.
E: I’m afraid this is the only face I have available.
Enoch goes to the table full of his fellow “brigands” all friendly and says he looks forward to playing this game of chance with them. Fitz tells him there is no needs to make conversation. The next game starts, Enoch antes, and plays as Fitz watches. He wins as Long-Haired Gambler plays alongside him.
On Z1, Daisy updates Simmons: A ship was supposed to come when they came but it turned around last minute. Where did it go? Piper answers the planet Kitson. Pryce wants to see and looks at the tablet and then says that their friend must be a man of perverted desire.
Simmons: Hey!
Daisy: Why would you say that?
Pryce: Because the planet of Kitson is a nasty place, absent any basic scrap of decency, a wretched hive of scum and villainy…oh wait that was about Tatooine…
Piper: Someone just described Florida.
Pryce: Most are ashamed to utter the word “Kitson” as it sounds like braying of an animal in heat.
Davis’s reaction is priceless.
Pryce:…There’s even a well-known saying about the planet. “What happens on the planet of Kitson…”
Daisy: “Stays on Kitson”?
Pryce: No. It’s an STD….Or is contagious and burns. However, you want to think of it.
Back to Enoch: His winning streak comes to a sudden, screeching halt when he is bluffed into betting ALL of his chips by the Long-Haired Gambler who made nice with Enoch to the point Enoch thought he could join he and Fitz as a “like minded” individual and friend. Fitz even tried to warn Enoch, but Enoch is apparently awesome at Rain Manning the cards, but not so good at people. It hadn’t taken the Gambler long to notice this and he explains this to Enoch when Enoch questions him about having professed that the hand had been too rich.
Enoch watches the Gambler take his winnings and looks almost confused after Fitz walks away in frustration, bewilderment, and anger.
Act 3
Boyle and Toad are securing their stolen snails on what was Viro’s ship (and a blatant redress of whatever space was the Playground’s common area, I can tell because I recently re-watched Afterlife and noticed a huge bulking pipe in the middle of the room) when a panel blinks and makes noise. Someone is trying to contact Fitz and Enoch’s ship again. Boyle says that before anyone realizes what happened they’ll be living like kings on the unsullied shores of Leitner. They laugh and there’s shaking and a loud thud. They look around terrified until the door is quaked open, and Daisy, Davis and Simmons come busting in, the last two having weapons ready.
Boyle asks who they are, and Daisy asks who they are. Boyle is the Controller of this ship and the Zephyr Team is trespassing. Guns are drawn and pointed, and Daisy quakes the gun from Toad’s hand. Boyle wants everybody to “suck on some calm” and Simmons tells them they are looking for Fitz who was on this ship.
Toad is like, “Oh” and Boyle immediately jumps to trying to sell them the information and Daisy does the thing that I can’t watch because it makes MY finger hurt. This 7pm (my time) timeslot really didn’t stop them, did it?.....Anyway, Daisy asks what Boyle’s bones are worth to Boyle because she will start breaking all of his if he doesn’t start coughing up the answers. He wants to know how she did that and she does it again (not with a close up this time) and Boyle whines that they didn’t hurt them or do anything wrong, they are just outlaws. They could have turned them in, but they didn’t. They just took their ship and let them go ‘cause they’re nice.
Simmons: Them?
Boyle: Yeah, that—ah, that guy and his friend, some creepy bald dude.
Simmons: Enoch. Fitz—he’s here and not alone.
The Space Team give each other looks and Boyle asks weakly if they need anything else. Davis points to the puffies and answers, “Those.” Toad keeps his hands up and says, “They’re all yours”. Davis thinks they look really good and likes them upon first bite. They are like Deke’s Twinkies to him and he offers them to Daisy and Simmons. Daisy and Simmons give him weird looks but take one each anyway.
Before she eats hers, Simmons asks where Fitz went and learns it could be one of two places—the casino or the brothels, and since they need money for the second, it’d be the casino.
Cut to mopey Fitz who is angered because they lost everything. Enoch says, “He intentionally deceived me” and Fitz chastises him about it having been a bluff, something Enoch does all the time as a robot pretending to be a human.
E: I am not a robot.
F: Chronicom. Whatever! [sighs]
E: Were you bluffing when you said I was you best friend?
F: *doesn’t answer for a few seconds as he hands clasped against his face* What does it matter?
E: I have disappointed you and we may be, as they say, down on our luck, but there are other wats to earn money.
…And Enoch suggests that they could prostitute themselves as they are each not that bad looking. (“Prostitutes?! Plural?!”) Enoch is after all well versed in over 150…. Fitz cuts him off then and there with “Stop. (pause) Brothels are not an option.”
Enoch then suggests a game that requires no bluffing and is based entirely on mathematical odds. Enoch did not start with that game because the stakes are very high. “How high?”
Cut to Fitz being inspected. He’s not muscley but has a sizable brain and it’s then when he’s handed a chip, is told by Enoch that he earned a very good price and realizes that he’s the collateral: if he loses this game he’ll be sold into slavery. They then see someone being pulled from their chair against their will and carried away.
Fitz’s seat at the table is not available and Fitz has lead feet. He (whispering) tells Enoch that this was his idea, he should play. Enoch explains that he’s the one who will count the tiles and he will emit a high-pitched tone that only humans can hear: one for a hold and two for a hit. Fitz then takes his seat at the table. Enoch tells him to make sure that he does not get a 14 and then he is locked in place before he can find out what that means, “don’t get a 14?’
At the entrance to the House of Games, Daisy and Fitz are….high. They are h i g h. High as a kite in Lucy’s Sky With Diamonds. I’ve never been high, and I know they are high. Was it even a big reveal when we find out later? Sorry, I’m going on about this, but I can’t describe this scene without just outright saying it…
Daisy: Once we get inside, we’ll separate and search, and if he’s not here….
Simmons: He better be dead.
D: What?
S: Better dead than in the brothels.
They both chuckle and Daisy tries to get ahold of herself and make herself stop. They then head to the Greeter, walking slowly with smiles on their faces. They see the Greeter give her automated greeting and her voice slowly distorts.
I don’t even know If they understood what she said but they make their way to the weapon check in and Simmons hands hers over. Once the person is gone Daisy puts her hand on Simmons and asks, “Are you feeling okay?’
S: Are you?
D: I asked you first.
S: I asked you second.
D: On 3. 1, 2, 3… I’m tripping balls.
S: I’m not okay at all.
D: I’m tripping balls.
S: Oh, we seem to be experiencing some adverse reaction to something.
Daisy looks around with her mouth opens and Simmons inhales.
S: Perhaps the atmosphere.
D: Maybe sending Davis back to the Zephyr was a bad idea.
S: No, I’m sure this is just temporary. Our bodies will adjust.
Simmons turns around and then puts her hand on Daisy’s thigh to get her to turn around and face the Greeter too. They then walk on, as close to each other as possible and enter the psychedelic hallway, which to the un-stoned, looks like …a hallway. They marvel at what they see. “So pretty.”
They move to those stairs, to which they hold onto for dear life in a scene that reminded me of “The Wolf of Wallstreet.” Daisy is just gonna say it, she doesn’t think it’s the atmosphere. Simmons agrees and says that idea was silly. “It’s clearly psychopharmalogicalexpiali…
“Docious!”
They laugh at their shared thought and Daisy thinks it was the things, the little puffies that they ate.
S: Bad little puffies.
D: Davis ate, like, six.
They laugh so hard it hurts and have a moment where they are going nowhere on the stairs.
D: I hope he’s okay.
Cut to Davis on Zephyr. He is clearly not okay as he spins in his chair until Piper’s distorted voice gets his attention.
Piper: What is wrong with you?
Davis: *laughs and hugs Piper tightly* I ate the yummies.
Piper: *is finally released* Who else had them?
D: *holding up fingers* Daisy, Simmons, all those giraffes.
Piper holds his face.
P: Hey. Stay here. Do not mo-- *Davis grabs her face and he pulls his hand off* Do not move. I’m gonna try to reach them. [Echoey and kaleidoscope] Stay.
Piper leaves him.
Back at the casino, somehow Daisy and Simmons have managed to make it to a bar and pull themselves up off the floor. As soon as they do, the bartender puts space drinks in front of them. Daisy smiles. They made it.
S: Yes, we did.
They high five.
S: Why are we here?
D: Because we’re on a mission.
S: Right. What is the mission?
D: The mission is…ladies’ night!
They do the aye! aye! aye! and tongue trilling things excitedly.
Jump cut:
D: Do you remember when we first met?
S: Yeah. You lived in a van.
Daisy agrees.
S: And it really smelled.
D: No, it didn’t.
S: Yeah. We called it the Fartmobile.
Daisy looks offended but they both laugh and there’s another jump cut of them laughing.
S: You had---you had big hair.
D: *close up of Simmons’ face* You had big…nerd face. Do you—what house are you in, hm? Gryffindor?
Me: How could she really think Simmons was in Gryffindor? Simmons screams Ravenclaw!
S: Uh, Ravenclaw. Girl, please.
They laugh (backwards) and Daisy asks if Simmons knows any spells. She picks out her straw and casts a Patronus which takes the form of…Monkey Fitz balancing on the tip and I hope Iain got a raise for having to wear that around the studio.
Simmons’ eyes widen. “Hello, little monkey Fitz.” ---Monkey Fitz falls off and Simmons suddenly get’s sad as she remembers… Daisy says, “This might feel so weird, but I feel such a strong connection to you, like we’re different parts of the same cosmic being. Do you feel it?”
Daisy turns around and finds Simmons missing and gross Long-Haired Gambler in her place. He says, “Mmhmm. I can feel it. Your ship or mine?’ Daisy gets the Fitz outta there.
Meanwhile, Davis is a secret agent in space. He is supposed to be watching…. ---Malachi who slips one hand through the hand cuff and escapes after charging at the camera.
Act 4
Piper is looking for Davis in Zephyr’s cargo hold and has brought him animal crackers. She doesn’t see him, descends the ladder, and scans the area for him. She finds him unconscious on the floor and runs to him, trying to shake him awake. He does wake up gasping, ala Coulson, and sits up, calling Malachi “some sort of shape-shifting contortionist assassin.”
P: *gun out and ready* Yeah, I’m sure he is, reliable witness. Any idea where he went?
Davis looks down and sees his cracker animals. Piper shakes her head and says, “Great,” and hurries away as he shakes the box next to his ear.
Cut to a gender bent Hunter S. Thompson giving voice over as Daisy looks for Simmons. “An alien had just propositioned me at the bar…my little British friend was missing…and everyone around me…smelled like cheese. Panic was starting to take hold when I suddenly noticed a dainty pair of feet.
Daisy says, “Don’t worry, everybody. I got this.”
Bar patrons look back at her like, “what?” and turn back around. Daisy joins under the game table and Simmons thinks her parents are mice.
D: That makes sense.
S: *Sitting up* I’m sorry for dragging you across the universe (also a good movie where LSD is taken, by the way).
D: *sitting up too* Oh, no, don’t be. It’s good. It’s only made us closer.
S: *breaking down* I just miss Fitz so much.
D: Aw. Yeah. I’m sorry. *touches Simmons’ arms and hands* I wish I had my own Fitz. Well, not Fitz, but you know…
S; No, I know. [voice breaking] You’ve had just awful luck in that department. It’s so sad. But you are so strong now and so confident. *touches Daisy’s face* I’m so proud of you.
D: *touching Simmons’ face* Really? It means so much coming from you.
S: You just mean so much. You’re my best friend.
D: [voice breaking] I love you, too.
S: *they’re still touching each other’s face* Your skin is so soft.
D: I know.
---The mood is ruined by a high-pitched tone. They listen to it and question what it is and Simmons (with her hands still on Daisy’s face) thinks it sounds almost like a dolphin.
Cut to the big game. We get verification that that sound was Enoch signaling Fitz. Fitz is doing well and the guy next to him tells “Green Bean” that he doesn’t have all day. Is he sure? Yep….That guy loses and starts begging for mercy as the dealer smiles. A cannon thing and menacingly comes out of the table and points to the guy, shooting him in the chest with an arrow.
Fitz tries to make a break for it but is trapped by the bars keeping him in place. He asks what that was and is told “never hit on 4.” The dealer says that 5 players remain as they enter round 6 and asks the players to place their wagers. Fitz who is breathing heavily and Enoch eye each other.
Dart-Chest’s body is placed in a corner and left. The Dealer looks to Fitz to make the first move and at that second, Enoch shuts down. The Dealer asks the question blatantly, does Fitz want to place his wager.
Fitz tries to drag it out and closes his eyes asking himself, “Hmm…. What are the odds of me getting a 7 or less?’ He opens one eye and looks at Enoch is still no help. Annoyed, the dealer tells Fitz that any dealer caught giving odds is fed to Mr. Kitson’s Vrellnexian. Fitz raises his hands and apologizes. He didn’t know that. Enoch’s eyes are still closed. Fitz goes back to drawing his move out saying, “Hmm…. Let’s see. To hit or to fold that is the questioooon now.”
There’s a crackling noise and Enoch’s limp body falls to the floor emanating a siren. It hurts Fitz’s ears but he seems to be the only one affected. The Dealer goes over and declares Enoch a synth and then tells everyone to vacate the room…except for Fitz whom he knows arrived with Enoch. Fitz literally yells that that was just a coincidence and the Dealer calls that Fitz’s good fortune.
Minions come and the Dealer orders them to make sure that Fitz and Enoch stay put as Mr. Kitson would want to deal with the personally.
Back on Z1, Malachi has a data stream running from Zephyr’s command center to under his fingernail (cringe) and is caught by Piper who tells him to back away from the computer as she has her weapon pointed at him. He throws the discey thing on the ground and steps in, Davis shoots…and hits a fuse box.
Davis: Totally evaporated. *hand gesture* Big guy’s two for two.
Piper: Yeah, well, he got away, big guy, and you totally destroyed our fuse box.
Davis: *nodding* But, where did he go?
P: The real question is, who was he trying to contact.
Back at the casino Skimmons are still under the game table and Daisy vows never to eat alien food again. They then realize that they can’t be sharing an auditory hallucination and decide that the sound must be Fitz trying to send a signal because they seem to be the only species effected.
Back in the room, Fitz “reboots” Enoch with a switch on his somewhere? and Enoch wakes up asking what Fitz is doing and then says he is uncomfortable with this level of intimacy, even with his best friend.
Fitz then tells his BFF that he shouldn’t set off a bloody air raid alarm, then. Enoch sits up (great Fitzing acting) and simply says, “whoops”.
F: Whoops? What’s whoops?
E: That noise you refer to as an air raid alarm, it is in fact, a remote override of my system.
F: *having just tried to body check the door* Something did that to you?
E: Not a thing. A Chronicom. I fear we are in grave danger.
F: I’m pretty sure Chronicoms are the least of our worries. (He spoke it into existence)
E: You are unaware of the varietals of Chronicoms. I, for instance, am an anthropologist. My primary functions are intended for research and sensual gratification.
Fitz hears this and has to take a moment before forcing the conversation away from the topic.
F: Moving swiftly on the types of ones that are coming here.
E: Those would be hunters.
We see the Greeter waiting (she wasn’t a hologram, to my surprise) and the door opens and she is shot as Malachi and his goons enter.
Act 5
They enter as Daisy and Simmons climb from under the table and stand up. They lose each other for a quick second but reunite and Daisy pauses when she sees Malachi’s goons because they look like the guy they think they still have tied up on Zephyr. Simmons realizes that they must be real if they both see them and that they must be here for Fitz. They’ll have to get by Daisy first, though.
Daisy quakes…and couldn’t quake even quake that stupid mountain at Afterlife in her shape. Daisy holds her arm saying that was way off.
Cut to Enoch having an existential crisis as he contemplates being shut down which can only mean that he is decommissioned. He is useless now. He has soiled the integrity of Chronicoms. The name Enoch will be an unspeakable sound.
Fitz out his hands on his forehead. “This isn’t helping. We need to find a way out of here or they’re gonna skin us alive.
E: They can have my skin. I don’t need it anymore. It is my uniform of shame.
F: You’re not useless. Enoch, okay? You’re not. So please, shut up and help me get this—
Fitz starts to go dead Dart Chest who is in the corner but gets a whiff of him.
F: What is that smell?
E: The foul stench of the name Enoch.
F: No. It’s coming from him.
E: He’s a Crepetolian. Their blood is 75% sulfur.
Enoch closes his eyes and lets his eyes close and clangs his head to the table as Fitz gets an idea.
Back with Skimmons: they are fired at and Simmons takes Daisy’s arm and points it at a goon and yells, “Fire!” and Daisy quakes him. Daisy then tells Simmons to go, she has it from here… Is she sure? Yeah, if Daisy can’t quake it, she’ll break it. Simmons leaves and Daisy turns to the goons, saying sorry boys, it’s ladies’ night and begins kicking ass while stoned.
Back with Fitz and Enoch, the latter is like, “Why do I exist? I am nothing. I’m a speck of dust in the infinite.”
Fitz had somehow CUT THE CREPETOLIANS ARM OFF and is using the arm to paint the door because he sees a black door and wants it painted red…. “Okay, Enoch—”
Enoch continues: “An afterthought in the worm-ridden mind of the black void.”
Fits finishes and throws the arm back by the rest of the guy. “I’m gonna need you to spark up. So, you take a break from being infinite nothing and do that for me?”
Enoch asks, “Why would I do anything when there Is no purpose? We will all soon be dust and rust.”
Fitz plays the best friend card. “Remember? That’s you purpose.”
Enoch turns his head with a clang to look at Fitz. “You’re bluffing.”
F: No. I’m mot. [sighs] I can’t believe I’m saying this, because you are—
E: Chronicom. Decommissioned.
F: Gonna say a massive pain in the ass, but…You’ve grown on me. So, yeah. You are my best friend.
Enoch lifts his head up and sits upright.
E: For you, my best friend, I would do anything.
Simmons comes through a beaded door (so 70’s) and meets the security guard. “Pardon me, sir, but I have reason to believe that my husband, sorry, uh, my future husband is behind that door.”
He asks, “And what reason is that?’
Simmons explains. “Uh. The --- the--- dolphin told me in a secret signal only I can hear that was meant just for me.”
He replies: “You need to lay off those puffs, lady.”
Simmons frowns. “Is it that obvious?”
“You’ve been under that gaming table for the last 20 minutes.”
“That long?” He nods and she sighs. “I’ve lost my mind. I’ve completely lost my mind.
Cut to Daisy who fights and fights and, upon quaking the last goon, says, “Please let that be the last one.”
Then to Fitz and Enoch: Enoch sparks the blood on the door, and electricity crackles, igniting the flames.
Back to Jemma. She tells the guy, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here” and he answers, “Then maybe it’s best you just go on home. This isn’t a place for a nice girl like you.”
Jemma starts to leave, and the door is busted open and crushes the Security Guard. For a moment, Jemma and Leo start to have a nice reunion complete with shock, awe, and tears, but it is quickly cut short when Malachi appears, kidnaps Fitz, and is gone just as quickly.
Jemma is standing there in disbelief when Enoch enters through the door. He tells Jemma Simmons that she should not be here.
Tag Scene
Sarge and Jaco are walking by a parking garage late at night. Jaco states that, “They have nice stars here.”
Sarge retorts that he has seen better, seen worse. He then readies his cannon thing, put on sunglasses and says it’s ready. Jaco asks him how many stars he thinks there are. “Stars? I don’t know.”
Jaco didn’t mean stars. Sarge, understanding, guesses that they are about to find out. He then fires the cannon into the sky. An energy stream lights it up. He watches the result and then looks at Jaco’s tablet which shows a grid lit up over North America with a few points flashing. Again, Sarge has “seen better, seen worse.” He then says, “Let’s go make a mess.” Almost like the Lead actor was required to be needlessly in the episode. They walk away all evilly.
AKA “Fear and Loathing on the Planet of Kitson”
Written By: Brent Fletcher and Craig Titley
Directed By: Jesse Bochco
#CoulsonsDNALives #LETSGOBLUES
Act 1
We start off with Malachi, the Hunter Chronicom, assembling his equipment and weapon? as out of focus faces and profiles flash on screen. He looks up from whatever he is doing when Fitz and Enoch’s faces appear and an alarm beeps. He rises, finishes what he’s doing and takes a disk and tosses it on the floor. A spinney portal thing appears, and he steps in and stuff spins and he’s gone. The portal thing then flies through the air and away.
Cue Title Card
NARO-ATZIA
CUSTOMS STATION C1-741
Davis and Piper are arguing to Daisy about Simmons as Simmons stands there, arms folded, looking away and just listening. Piper and Davis are annoyed at their lack of food and jumps available and Piper wants Simmons locked up in the cargo hold because she put their lives and the mission at risk. Finally Simmons cuts in, saying “Fitz is the mission.We didn’t come this far to give up. (To herself) Cowards.”
Daisy puts an end to this with “Enough” and chastises them saying Simmons is right, Fitz is the mission but she’s the mission leader and it was her call to make, not Simmons’. Simmons asks her whose side she is on, and Daisy fires back that she knows damn well whose side they are ALL on. They went to a Fire Planet for Simmons. They followed every bread crumb to find him and now they are at the end of a galaxy because of a tiny word they can’t even read.
Jemma yells that she told them what it said, but Daisy continues saying they need to take a step back. They can’t save Fitz if they can’t fix themselves. “We’re going home. Hopefully we can make it there.”
Simmons: Go if you want, but I’m staying.
Daisy: Permission denied. And if you have a problems with that, I’ll have you locked up until we get there.
Simmons: I’d like to see you try.
Piper; *raises an eyebrow*
Simmons, Daisy has superpowers.
Just then, there’s rumbling and buzzing, and Pretorious Pryce appears on screen with greetings. He welcomes them to Naro-Atzia and introduces himself as their duly appointed customs officer. Their spacecraft has been docked, and he is requesting permission to come aboard for their welcoming inspection.
Daisy tries to tell Pryce that won’t be necessary and they won’t be visiting but she and Pryce go back and forth and they CAN’T go, they’re already in the system. Once they are in the system, they are IN the system. There are forms. Prepared forms. Pryce doesn’t like the rules but they must be enforced.
Dasiy: Fine. Come aboard.
Simmons, who is still in the back because she hadn’t moved, says that maybe Pryce inspected Fitz’s ship. They can at least ask, can’t they? “He could be so close.” They give her looks.
KITSON CITY
THE PLANET OF KITSON
Fitz and Enoch are told by a guy named Boyle that the snails should fetch a good price at market, enough for food and supplies. He then asks them where they are heading, Fitz answers Naro Atzia and Enoch then spills all the very exact and detailed beans… Fitz is like, “DUDE” and Boyle says their business is their business. Toad then speaks and says hey heard what Fitz and Enoch did, saving the crew and giving the Controller his walking papers. They are real heroes. Fitz is quick to say that anyone would have done the same.
Boyle: Not around here.
Fitz sees the edibles and eyes them.
Fitz: Those look good.
Toad: *taking one and tossing it to Fitz* They taste even better.
Then, like Sallah stopping Indy from eating the bad dates, Enoch catches it midair.
Enoch: These are not meant for Terran consumption, especially not on an empty stomach. We will find you nourishment after we are paid.
Fitz: I know but I’m starving…
Boyle: Yeah, about that.
Fitz and Enoch turn around to see Boyle has a gun on them.
B: We’re just gonna take the snails and the, uh, ship, too.
Fitz asks why Boyle is doing this and Boyle says his business is his business. Toad takes a tablet and shows them the screen, adding that their business seems to be everybody’s. The screen shows the same mugshots of Fitz and Enoch’s as Malachi’s screen.
F and E are given a choice: get off Boyle’s ship (the ship Fitz and Enoch just arrived with and I specify this because it confused me) or they tell the local enforcer’s that they’re here. Fitz offers them the snails but wants to keep the ship. It’s the only one off the planet. Boyle decides to be a version of nice and says he will pay them for the ship and snails and tosses Fitz a ship.
Fitz is like, “Really?” and Boyle explains that this planet has a reputation. Fortunes are lost here, but they are also won as well. Maybe their luck will take an upswing.
Entering the House of Games, the Greeter welcomes them and asks them to “check your weapons and moral high ground, then walk through the scanner. Robots, droids, mechs, cyborgs (Would Coulson be excluded?), and synths are strictly prohibited. Violators will be removed and executed.”
Fitz starts to say that Enoch should maybe wait outside but before he can finish his sentence Enoch has already gone through the scanner. He was able to do that because he was not any of the listed things and as a Chronicom, he was designed with internal mechanisms that mask his non-organic structure and mimic human biological function. He can easily fool any scanner.
Fitz: Cool. Good to know. Glad you made it. *walks off*
Walking down the stairs to the gaming room, Enoch basically says that he is having a facsimile of fun and that he considers Fitz his friend. When he asks Fitz if it’s safe to assume that Fitz feels the same way, Fitz says that he feels like they are Xandarian snails: they keep moving but don’t get anywhere.
In the gaming room, they see crazy alien space casino. Fitz calls it not exactly Monte Carlo and Enoch says that they may need only one chip and he is well versed in over 10,000 galactic games of chance, several of which are being played in this casino. Fitz turns to look at him in full disbelief: Enoch is telling him that now? What games are Enoch good at? Approximately none. He has no experiential knowledge. He has only ever been an observer.
Fitz: *having just face palmed* I’m never gonna see her again.
Back on Zephyr, Pryce tells Daisy, Piper and Simmons that they’ll be on their way in no time and asks them to surrender their weapons per blah blah blah. Piper and Simmons go to do that. Piper sets her down right behind Pryce and threatens him that they better get them back. Pryce eyes Daisy who explains that she doesn’t carry one. Behind Daisy, Simmons sets her down on a box and Pryce points at her, saying their weapons will be returned to them upon satisfaction completion of their inspection per blah blah blah. Daisy shuts him up by saying, “Yeah, we go it.’
Pryce: What is your planet of origin?
Daisy: Earth.
Pryce: Terrans? *suspiciously* Purpose of your visit to Naro-Atzia?
Simmons: *steps forward, phone in hand* We’re looking for this man. We believe he may be down on your planet. His name is Leopold Fitz.
Pryce recoils at the name and whispers that they should not have said that name.
Daisy: Why?
P: Because he’s here, listening.
S: Fitz is here?
Pryce starts to shake his head when Malachi enters and shoots Daisy.
Act 2
Back from commercials, Simmons immediately rushes to Daisy. Malachi then takes aim at Simmons who is at Daisy’s side and Simmons dodges the shot, heading back by cargo containers and taking cover. Malachi then hits Piper as she’s headed for her weapon. Next up is Pryce who says, “Please friend there is no need of further violence. I am confident the remaining crew will submit peacefully.” As he says this Simmons glances around the cargo container and looks at her weapon which is where she left it on a box. As soon as Pryce finishes speaking Simmons heads for it pausing for a second behind Pryce and makes it to it and has it in her hand right as Malachi takes aim….and is hit in the back of the head by Davis. “Guess we didn’t pass inspection.”
Back at the casino of scum and villainy, Fitz doesn’t know what game to play to have the best chance. Enoch thinks a drink will help them decide and orders two Barracooladas. Fitz chastises him, not because of the taste but because uh, how will they pay for these liquid monstrosities with one lousy chip? Enoch takes that one lousy chip, places it on a table and wins. He knew he would win because it had been over 30 rotations since the marker last landed on the Beast of Clovers. Enoch then goes on about how he knew he would win, and Fitz goes oh, that’s right you’re an advanced computer.
E: That feels reductive.
F: Nope, not reductive. This is exciting. You can win us the money.
E: It was unwise for me to have gambled. The rules are quite clear on synthetic beings.
F; *smiling* Hey. That’s what best friends are for. Think about it, for breaking the rules, putting it all on the line.
E: I am aware of instances where best friends have committed lawless acts together.
F: Exactly.
E…Even murder.
F: What? No. That’s…. That’s, um—that’s a really worrying thing to have said. *puts his hand on Enoch’s shoulder* Why not maybe just stick to gambling? *they start to walk away* This is where fortunes are won, right?
Cut to Malachi who is handcuffed to Zephyr’s cargo bay ladder. He says, “You and your friends are out of time.”
Daisy: Says the guy who is chained to the stairs.
Simmons: Why were you asking the inspector about Fitz?
Malachi: Leopold Fitz is a wanted man.
D: Wanted for what?
M: Tampering with the universe.
S: What made you think Fitz would be here? Was It the Cryo-Chamber?
M: I cannot speak to his purpose, only that Leopold Fitz was scheduled to arrive in the next incoming vessel.
Daisy and Simmons look at each other.
D: You’re right. He’s alive.
S: And close.
Simmons says maybe the inspector can help him find that ship and Daisy is on it.
Daisy leaves and Malachi tells Simmons that Leopold Fitz “should not be here.” Simmons agrees. He should be with them, back on Earth. Malachi answers that Earth is where he died. Over a year ago if he is not mistaken.
Simmons: What are you?
Malachi: A hunter. As I said previously, you and your friends are out of time.
Baxk to Fitz. He watches Enoch down a Barracoolada disgusted and say that the brine really is the best part. Fitz doesn’t answer when asked if he agrees and points to a table in the back across from them. As far as he can tell that’s where the big fish are playing. Enoch points out that that table appears populated with degenerates and outlaws. It shall be an honor for them to join their ranks.
F: That depends on your poker face.
E: I’m afraid this is the only face I have available.
Enoch goes to the table full of his fellow “brigands” all friendly and says he looks forward to playing this game of chance with them. Fitz tells him there is no needs to make conversation. The next game starts, Enoch antes, and plays as Fitz watches. He wins as Long-Haired Gambler plays alongside him.
On Z1, Daisy updates Simmons: A ship was supposed to come when they came but it turned around last minute. Where did it go? Piper answers the planet Kitson. Pryce wants to see and looks at the tablet and then says that their friend must be a man of perverted desire.
Simmons: Hey!
Daisy: Why would you say that?
Pryce: Because the planet of Kitson is a nasty place, absent any basic scrap of decency, a wretched hive of scum and villainy…oh wait that was about Tatooine…
Piper: Someone just described Florida.
Pryce: Most are ashamed to utter the word “Kitson” as it sounds like braying of an animal in heat.
Davis’s reaction is priceless.
Pryce:…There’s even a well-known saying about the planet. “What happens on the planet of Kitson…”
Daisy: “Stays on Kitson”?
Pryce: No. It’s an STD….Or is contagious and burns. However, you want to think of it.
Back to Enoch: His winning streak comes to a sudden, screeching halt when he is bluffed into betting ALL of his chips by the Long-Haired Gambler who made nice with Enoch to the point Enoch thought he could join he and Fitz as a “like minded” individual and friend. Fitz even tried to warn Enoch, but Enoch is apparently awesome at Rain Manning the cards, but not so good at people. It hadn’t taken the Gambler long to notice this and he explains this to Enoch when Enoch questions him about having professed that the hand had been too rich.
Enoch watches the Gambler take his winnings and looks almost confused after Fitz walks away in frustration, bewilderment, and anger.
Act 3
Boyle and Toad are securing their stolen snails on what was Viro’s ship (and a blatant redress of whatever space was the Playground’s common area, I can tell because I recently re-watched Afterlife and noticed a huge bulking pipe in the middle of the room) when a panel blinks and makes noise. Someone is trying to contact Fitz and Enoch’s ship again. Boyle says that before anyone realizes what happened they’ll be living like kings on the unsullied shores of Leitner. They laugh and there’s shaking and a loud thud. They look around terrified until the door is quaked open, and Daisy, Davis and Simmons come busting in, the last two having weapons ready.
Boyle asks who they are, and Daisy asks who they are. Boyle is the Controller of this ship and the Zephyr Team is trespassing. Guns are drawn and pointed, and Daisy quakes the gun from Toad’s hand. Boyle wants everybody to “suck on some calm” and Simmons tells them they are looking for Fitz who was on this ship.
Toad is like, “Oh” and Boyle immediately jumps to trying to sell them the information and Daisy does the thing that I can’t watch because it makes MY finger hurt. This 7pm (my time) timeslot really didn’t stop them, did it?.....Anyway, Daisy asks what Boyle’s bones are worth to Boyle because she will start breaking all of his if he doesn’t start coughing up the answers. He wants to know how she did that and she does it again (not with a close up this time) and Boyle whines that they didn’t hurt them or do anything wrong, they are just outlaws. They could have turned them in, but they didn’t. They just took their ship and let them go ‘cause they’re nice.
Simmons: Them?
Boyle: Yeah, that—ah, that guy and his friend, some creepy bald dude.
Simmons: Enoch. Fitz—he’s here and not alone.
The Space Team give each other looks and Boyle asks weakly if they need anything else. Davis points to the puffies and answers, “Those.” Toad keeps his hands up and says, “They’re all yours”. Davis thinks they look really good and likes them upon first bite. They are like Deke’s Twinkies to him and he offers them to Daisy and Simmons. Daisy and Simmons give him weird looks but take one each anyway.
Before she eats hers, Simmons asks where Fitz went and learns it could be one of two places—the casino or the brothels, and since they need money for the second, it’d be the casino.
Cut to mopey Fitz who is angered because they lost everything. Enoch says, “He intentionally deceived me” and Fitz chastises him about it having been a bluff, something Enoch does all the time as a robot pretending to be a human.
E: I am not a robot.
F: Chronicom. Whatever! [sighs]
E: Were you bluffing when you said I was you best friend?
F: *doesn’t answer for a few seconds as he hands clasped against his face* What does it matter?
E: I have disappointed you and we may be, as they say, down on our luck, but there are other wats to earn money.
…And Enoch suggests that they could prostitute themselves as they are each not that bad looking. (“Prostitutes?! Plural?!”) Enoch is after all well versed in over 150…. Fitz cuts him off then and there with “Stop. (pause) Brothels are not an option.”
Enoch then suggests a game that requires no bluffing and is based entirely on mathematical odds. Enoch did not start with that game because the stakes are very high. “How high?”
Cut to Fitz being inspected. He’s not muscley but has a sizable brain and it’s then when he’s handed a chip, is told by Enoch that he earned a very good price and realizes that he’s the collateral: if he loses this game he’ll be sold into slavery. They then see someone being pulled from their chair against their will and carried away.
Fitz’s seat at the table is not available and Fitz has lead feet. He (whispering) tells Enoch that this was his idea, he should play. Enoch explains that he’s the one who will count the tiles and he will emit a high-pitched tone that only humans can hear: one for a hold and two for a hit. Fitz then takes his seat at the table. Enoch tells him to make sure that he does not get a 14 and then he is locked in place before he can find out what that means, “don’t get a 14?’
At the entrance to the House of Games, Daisy and Fitz are….high. They are h i g h. High as a kite in Lucy’s Sky With Diamonds. I’ve never been high, and I know they are high. Was it even a big reveal when we find out later? Sorry, I’m going on about this, but I can’t describe this scene without just outright saying it…
Daisy: Once we get inside, we’ll separate and search, and if he’s not here….
Simmons: He better be dead.
D: What?
S: Better dead than in the brothels.
They both chuckle and Daisy tries to get ahold of herself and make herself stop. They then head to the Greeter, walking slowly with smiles on their faces. They see the Greeter give her automated greeting and her voice slowly distorts.
I don’t even know If they understood what she said but they make their way to the weapon check in and Simmons hands hers over. Once the person is gone Daisy puts her hand on Simmons and asks, “Are you feeling okay?’
S: Are you?
D: I asked you first.
S: I asked you second.
D: On 3. 1, 2, 3… I’m tripping balls.
S: I’m not okay at all.
D: I’m tripping balls.
S: Oh, we seem to be experiencing some adverse reaction to something.
Daisy looks around with her mouth opens and Simmons inhales.
S: Perhaps the atmosphere.
D: Maybe sending Davis back to the Zephyr was a bad idea.
S: No, I’m sure this is just temporary. Our bodies will adjust.
Simmons turns around and then puts her hand on Daisy’s thigh to get her to turn around and face the Greeter too. They then walk on, as close to each other as possible and enter the psychedelic hallway, which to the un-stoned, looks like …a hallway. They marvel at what they see. “So pretty.”
They move to those stairs, to which they hold onto for dear life in a scene that reminded me of “The Wolf of Wallstreet.” Daisy is just gonna say it, she doesn’t think it’s the atmosphere. Simmons agrees and says that idea was silly. “It’s clearly psychopharmalogicalexpiali…
“Docious!”
They laugh at their shared thought and Daisy thinks it was the things, the little puffies that they ate.
S: Bad little puffies.
D: Davis ate, like, six.
They laugh so hard it hurts and have a moment where they are going nowhere on the stairs.
D: I hope he’s okay.
Cut to Davis on Zephyr. He is clearly not okay as he spins in his chair until Piper’s distorted voice gets his attention.
Piper: What is wrong with you?
Davis: *laughs and hugs Piper tightly* I ate the yummies.
Piper: *is finally released* Who else had them?
D: *holding up fingers* Daisy, Simmons, all those giraffes.
Piper holds his face.
P: Hey. Stay here. Do not mo-- *Davis grabs her face and he pulls his hand off* Do not move. I’m gonna try to reach them. [Echoey and kaleidoscope] Stay.
Piper leaves him.
Back at the casino, somehow Daisy and Simmons have managed to make it to a bar and pull themselves up off the floor. As soon as they do, the bartender puts space drinks in front of them. Daisy smiles. They made it.
S: Yes, we did.
They high five.
S: Why are we here?
D: Because we’re on a mission.
S: Right. What is the mission?
D: The mission is…ladies’ night!
They do the aye! aye! aye! and tongue trilling things excitedly.
Jump cut:
D: Do you remember when we first met?
S: Yeah. You lived in a van.
Daisy agrees.
S: And it really smelled.
D: No, it didn’t.
S: Yeah. We called it the Fartmobile.
Daisy looks offended but they both laugh and there’s another jump cut of them laughing.
S: You had---you had big hair.
D: *close up of Simmons’ face* You had big…nerd face. Do you—what house are you in, hm? Gryffindor?
Me: How could she really think Simmons was in Gryffindor? Simmons screams Ravenclaw!
S: Uh, Ravenclaw. Girl, please.
They laugh (backwards) and Daisy asks if Simmons knows any spells. She picks out her straw and casts a Patronus which takes the form of…Monkey Fitz balancing on the tip and I hope Iain got a raise for having to wear that around the studio.
Simmons’ eyes widen. “Hello, little monkey Fitz.” ---Monkey Fitz falls off and Simmons suddenly get’s sad as she remembers… Daisy says, “This might feel so weird, but I feel such a strong connection to you, like we’re different parts of the same cosmic being. Do you feel it?”
Daisy turns around and finds Simmons missing and gross Long-Haired Gambler in her place. He says, “Mmhmm. I can feel it. Your ship or mine?’ Daisy gets the Fitz outta there.
Meanwhile, Davis is a secret agent in space. He is supposed to be watching…. ---Malachi who slips one hand through the hand cuff and escapes after charging at the camera.
Act 4
Piper is looking for Davis in Zephyr’s cargo hold and has brought him animal crackers. She doesn’t see him, descends the ladder, and scans the area for him. She finds him unconscious on the floor and runs to him, trying to shake him awake. He does wake up gasping, ala Coulson, and sits up, calling Malachi “some sort of shape-shifting contortionist assassin.”
P: *gun out and ready* Yeah, I’m sure he is, reliable witness. Any idea where he went?
Davis looks down and sees his cracker animals. Piper shakes her head and says, “Great,” and hurries away as he shakes the box next to his ear.
Cut to a gender bent Hunter S. Thompson giving voice over as Daisy looks for Simmons. “An alien had just propositioned me at the bar…my little British friend was missing…and everyone around me…smelled like cheese. Panic was starting to take hold when I suddenly noticed a dainty pair of feet.
Daisy says, “Don’t worry, everybody. I got this.”
Bar patrons look back at her like, “what?” and turn back around. Daisy joins under the game table and Simmons thinks her parents are mice.
D: That makes sense.
S: *Sitting up* I’m sorry for dragging you across the universe (also a good movie where LSD is taken, by the way).
D: *sitting up too* Oh, no, don’t be. It’s good. It’s only made us closer.
S: *breaking down* I just miss Fitz so much.
D: Aw. Yeah. I’m sorry. *touches Simmons’ arms and hands* I wish I had my own Fitz. Well, not Fitz, but you know…
S; No, I know. [voice breaking] You’ve had just awful luck in that department. It’s so sad. But you are so strong now and so confident. *touches Daisy’s face* I’m so proud of you.
D: *touching Simmons’ face* Really? It means so much coming from you.
S: You just mean so much. You’re my best friend.
D: [voice breaking] I love you, too.
S: *they’re still touching each other’s face* Your skin is so soft.
D: I know.
---The mood is ruined by a high-pitched tone. They listen to it and question what it is and Simmons (with her hands still on Daisy’s face) thinks it sounds almost like a dolphin.
Cut to the big game. We get verification that that sound was Enoch signaling Fitz. Fitz is doing well and the guy next to him tells “Green Bean” that he doesn’t have all day. Is he sure? Yep….That guy loses and starts begging for mercy as the dealer smiles. A cannon thing and menacingly comes out of the table and points to the guy, shooting him in the chest with an arrow.
Fitz tries to make a break for it but is trapped by the bars keeping him in place. He asks what that was and is told “never hit on 4.” The dealer says that 5 players remain as they enter round 6 and asks the players to place their wagers. Fitz who is breathing heavily and Enoch eye each other.
Dart-Chest’s body is placed in a corner and left. The Dealer looks to Fitz to make the first move and at that second, Enoch shuts down. The Dealer asks the question blatantly, does Fitz want to place his wager.
Fitz tries to drag it out and closes his eyes asking himself, “Hmm…. What are the odds of me getting a 7 or less?’ He opens one eye and looks at Enoch is still no help. Annoyed, the dealer tells Fitz that any dealer caught giving odds is fed to Mr. Kitson’s Vrellnexian. Fitz raises his hands and apologizes. He didn’t know that. Enoch’s eyes are still closed. Fitz goes back to drawing his move out saying, “Hmm…. Let’s see. To hit or to fold that is the questioooon now.”
There’s a crackling noise and Enoch’s limp body falls to the floor emanating a siren. It hurts Fitz’s ears but he seems to be the only one affected. The Dealer goes over and declares Enoch a synth and then tells everyone to vacate the room…except for Fitz whom he knows arrived with Enoch. Fitz literally yells that that was just a coincidence and the Dealer calls that Fitz’s good fortune.
Minions come and the Dealer orders them to make sure that Fitz and Enoch stay put as Mr. Kitson would want to deal with the personally.
Back on Z1, Malachi has a data stream running from Zephyr’s command center to under his fingernail (cringe) and is caught by Piper who tells him to back away from the computer as she has her weapon pointed at him. He throws the discey thing on the ground and steps in, Davis shoots…and hits a fuse box.
Davis: Totally evaporated. *hand gesture* Big guy’s two for two.
Piper: Yeah, well, he got away, big guy, and you totally destroyed our fuse box.
Davis: *nodding* But, where did he go?
P: The real question is, who was he trying to contact.
Back at the casino Skimmons are still under the game table and Daisy vows never to eat alien food again. They then realize that they can’t be sharing an auditory hallucination and decide that the sound must be Fitz trying to send a signal because they seem to be the only species effected.
Back in the room, Fitz “reboots” Enoch with a switch on his somewhere? and Enoch wakes up asking what Fitz is doing and then says he is uncomfortable with this level of intimacy, even with his best friend.
Fitz then tells his BFF that he shouldn’t set off a bloody air raid alarm, then. Enoch sits up (great Fitzing acting) and simply says, “whoops”.
F: Whoops? What’s whoops?
E: That noise you refer to as an air raid alarm, it is in fact, a remote override of my system.
F: *having just tried to body check the door* Something did that to you?
E: Not a thing. A Chronicom. I fear we are in grave danger.
F: I’m pretty sure Chronicoms are the least of our worries. (He spoke it into existence)
E: You are unaware of the varietals of Chronicoms. I, for instance, am an anthropologist. My primary functions are intended for research and sensual gratification.
Fitz hears this and has to take a moment before forcing the conversation away from the topic.
F: Moving swiftly on the types of ones that are coming here.
E: Those would be hunters.
We see the Greeter waiting (she wasn’t a hologram, to my surprise) and the door opens and she is shot as Malachi and his goons enter.
Act 5
They enter as Daisy and Simmons climb from under the table and stand up. They lose each other for a quick second but reunite and Daisy pauses when she sees Malachi’s goons because they look like the guy they think they still have tied up on Zephyr. Simmons realizes that they must be real if they both see them and that they must be here for Fitz. They’ll have to get by Daisy first, though.
Daisy quakes…and couldn’t quake even quake that stupid mountain at Afterlife in her shape. Daisy holds her arm saying that was way off.
Cut to Enoch having an existential crisis as he contemplates being shut down which can only mean that he is decommissioned. He is useless now. He has soiled the integrity of Chronicoms. The name Enoch will be an unspeakable sound.
Fitz out his hands on his forehead. “This isn’t helping. We need to find a way out of here or they’re gonna skin us alive.
E: They can have my skin. I don’t need it anymore. It is my uniform of shame.
F: You’re not useless. Enoch, okay? You’re not. So please, shut up and help me get this—
Fitz starts to go dead Dart Chest who is in the corner but gets a whiff of him.
F: What is that smell?
E: The foul stench of the name Enoch.
F: No. It’s coming from him.
E: He’s a Crepetolian. Their blood is 75% sulfur.
Enoch closes his eyes and lets his eyes close and clangs his head to the table as Fitz gets an idea.
Back with Skimmons: they are fired at and Simmons takes Daisy’s arm and points it at a goon and yells, “Fire!” and Daisy quakes him. Daisy then tells Simmons to go, she has it from here… Is she sure? Yeah, if Daisy can’t quake it, she’ll break it. Simmons leaves and Daisy turns to the goons, saying sorry boys, it’s ladies’ night and begins kicking ass while stoned.
Back with Fitz and Enoch, the latter is like, “Why do I exist? I am nothing. I’m a speck of dust in the infinite.”
Fitz had somehow CUT THE CREPETOLIANS ARM OFF and is using the arm to paint the door because he sees a black door and wants it painted red…. “Okay, Enoch—”
Enoch continues: “An afterthought in the worm-ridden mind of the black void.”
Fits finishes and throws the arm back by the rest of the guy. “I’m gonna need you to spark up. So, you take a break from being infinite nothing and do that for me?”
Enoch asks, “Why would I do anything when there Is no purpose? We will all soon be dust and rust.”
Fitz plays the best friend card. “Remember? That’s you purpose.”
Enoch turns his head with a clang to look at Fitz. “You’re bluffing.”
F: No. I’m mot. [sighs] I can’t believe I’m saying this, because you are—
E: Chronicom. Decommissioned.
F: Gonna say a massive pain in the ass, but…You’ve grown on me. So, yeah. You are my best friend.
Enoch lifts his head up and sits upright.
E: For you, my best friend, I would do anything.
Simmons comes through a beaded door (so 70’s) and meets the security guard. “Pardon me, sir, but I have reason to believe that my husband, sorry, uh, my future husband is behind that door.”
He asks, “And what reason is that?’
Simmons explains. “Uh. The --- the--- dolphin told me in a secret signal only I can hear that was meant just for me.”
He replies: “You need to lay off those puffs, lady.”
Simmons frowns. “Is it that obvious?”
“You’ve been under that gaming table for the last 20 minutes.”
“That long?” He nods and she sighs. “I’ve lost my mind. I’ve completely lost my mind.
Cut to Daisy who fights and fights and, upon quaking the last goon, says, “Please let that be the last one.”
Then to Fitz and Enoch: Enoch sparks the blood on the door, and electricity crackles, igniting the flames.
Back to Jemma. She tells the guy, “I don’t even know what I’m doing here” and he answers, “Then maybe it’s best you just go on home. This isn’t a place for a nice girl like you.”
Jemma starts to leave, and the door is busted open and crushes the Security Guard. For a moment, Jemma and Leo start to have a nice reunion complete with shock, awe, and tears, but it is quickly cut short when Malachi appears, kidnaps Fitz, and is gone just as quickly.
Jemma is standing there in disbelief when Enoch enters through the door. He tells Jemma Simmons that she should not be here.
Tag Scene
Sarge and Jaco are walking by a parking garage late at night. Jaco states that, “They have nice stars here.”
Sarge retorts that he has seen better, seen worse. He then readies his cannon thing, put on sunglasses and says it’s ready. Jaco asks him how many stars he thinks there are. “Stars? I don’t know.”
Jaco didn’t mean stars. Sarge, understanding, guesses that they are about to find out. He then fires the cannon into the sky. An energy stream lights it up. He watches the result and then looks at Jaco’s tablet which shows a grid lit up over North America with a few points flashing. Again, Sarge has “seen better, seen worse.” He then says, “Let’s go make a mess.” Almost like the Lead actor was required to be needlessly in the episode. They walk away all evilly.
I'll be spending next weekend with some family I like and trying to avoid any remotely controversial conversations with others that I spend the rest of the year avoiding 